


Loving You Is A Cliche

by Junebug1312



Category: Phan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2020-01-20 15:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junebug1312/pseuds/Junebug1312
Summary: Dan had never looked at someone the way he looked at Phil. It was that type of teenage infatuation that only ever happened in the movies.





	1. Chapter 1

Dan slid into the bus seat, his backpack thrown down next to him. Today wasn’t particularly horrible but any day he had school wasn’t great. It had been a long day and all Dan wanted to do was go home and play video games. Everyone at his school was an asshole in the most literal sense of the word. And the only good part about his day was after school on the bus where he could observe the kids coming on from Western. They were substantially nicer to look at than any of the kids at his school and went to a hugely prestigious school. Maybe looks were included in the application and not just daddy's money.

As the bus doors shifted open a regular Dan knew all too well got on, his floppy raven hair was pushed up in a messy quiff a haircut that suited him way too well. Today he had on a white shirt with cactuses all over it nothing out of the ordinary as last week he wore a bright red shirt with a dinosaur on the front. He sat down with two other people Dan recognized as well. One of them had curly short brunette hair and the other had a brown fringe. They had to be snobs Dan knew that from there fancy name brand backpacks and the fact they were able to afford Western in the first place but he didn’t care because for a closeted gay boy they were a dream come true. 

Dan sighed and dug into his backpack to pull out his copy of 'To Kill A Mockingbird' the unfortunate book study teachers bludgeoned their students with. Even though some of the language was complicated to comprehend Dan always fell in love with the books he was forced to read, call it a bad habit if you will. That was just like Dan though falling in the love with the thing he isn’t supposed too. I guess you could call that a gay guys curse. It wasn’t his fault typically straight preppy boys were hot and he was lonely. And if he just pretended he was a girl he could act like this was normal because his church had constantly pummelled into his head that idea. In ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ if Scout and Dill had gotten together it would have been fine, adorable even but if Jem and Dill decided to, there would have been chaos. So if he was to check out these boys it would have to be in secret otherwise known as conspicuously half-reading and then glancing upwards. When he looked up next he saw the black haired boy being nudged by his friends and he was laughing and shaking his head in solitude. Dan liked the way his eyes reflected melted ice when he laughed and had paper crinkles matching on both sides. Realizing he had been staring Dan quickly averted his gaze back into his book not wanting to draw attention to himself. He smiled down at his book remembering how the boy's porcelain skin cracked easily when he became happy.

“Hey!”

Dan swallowed harshly. The voice sounded young, about 16-17 years old and he prayed he wasn’t about to get his ass kicked.

“Dimples!”

Only assuming that meant him because of the direction the voice was coming from he slowly lifted his head from his book and made tension filled eye contact with the black haired boy.

Uneasily he responded, “Y-yeah?”

The two other boys seemed to be holding their breath as they very obviously pretended to be interested in the window all of a sudden. Dan couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad sign. The boy quirked his lips into a soft smile and pointed at Dan's book.

“'To Kill A Mockingbird' right?”

Dan breathed out slowly through his nose waiting for the trap he was about to get stuck in. He glanced down at the novel as if he had forgotten the title and perhaps with the swirl of anxiety rushing inside him he kind of had.

“Yeah” Dan answered hoping his voice sounded less suspicious than he presumed it did.

The boy's mouth twisted into a more defined smile and Dan couldn’t help but feel a flutter at that expression since it was directed towards him. Wow, he really was desperate.

“I read it last semester, like it?” He inquired.

The usual noises of the bus had faded away and he hoped the other passengers couldn’t tell how flustered he was. It was like listening to music from outside of a concert everything was distant including the cries of a baby and loud mouth talking on her phone.

“Hate to love it” Dan shrugged a tiny smile playing at his lips.

A muted chuckle fell from the boy's mouth and he nodded knowingly, “I get it. Hard to admit teachers might actually have a point with the literature they force into our hands”

Dan smirked and nodded eagerly back asking himself internally if he was actually holding a conversation. The boy looked back towards his friends, who were now grabbing their bags after pulling the bus string. He grabbed his fancy rich boy backpack and then turned towards Dan again.

“Well this is our stop, see you tomorrow Dimples,” he said.

He smiled cheekily and then the bus was stopping and after a few moments of quick shuffling they were gone. Dan turned towards the window and let himself make various expressions in an attempt to calm himself down. His first conversation with one of the Western boys and he hadn’t gotten beat up or humiliated. And not only that but the boy had called him Dimples and said see you tomorrow which means he had noticed Dan before as well. Dan clutched his book to his chest half of him wanting to stop acting like a little girl and the other half; never wanting to not feel this giddy again. Dill to his Jem, he thought Dill to his Jem.

* * *

The next day the excitement coursing through Dan was unusually persistent. Usually, the thought of going through a day of school was torture but now it gave him time to make sure he had calmed the fuck down. When the bus pulled around to his stop he could barely contain his elation and he hoped this is not what he appeared like in front of the boy. The two girls waiting on the bench next to him kept giving him careful glances so he was being pretty apparent. Dan was always one to wear his emotions so people could always easily guess what he was thinking. As he attempted to not run onto the bus he almost dropped his book which made him stumble a bit as he handed the bus driver his ticket and happily went into his usual empty seat.

Now he just had to wait for four more stops and then the boys would be getting on again. Dan breathed out nervously and began to look like he was nonchalantly reading rather than counting the stops as they passed them. One....two.....three Dan stopped his counting, in a few minutes they’d be at stop four and-and what was he going to even say? He didn’t even know this kids name or if he was just simply being polite to him. Maybe yesterday was a fluke and it was just an act of pity. He clenched his fists and nibbled on his bottom lip urging himself to calm down because Jesus Christ he wasn’t gonna marry the kid! Dan looked outside of the window and tried to calculate how tall a tree was outside, Dan James Howell was actually doing math to distract himself. This boy clearly had done something to him.

“Whatcha looking at Dimples?”

The sudden voice made Dan jump and whip his head around vigorously to look at the intruder. Unsurprisingly it was the boy from yesterday with his cute little quirked smile and black framed glasses.

“Nothing special” Dan responded fiddling with his fingers casually.

The boy nodded and then pointed towards Dan's backpack, “Mind if I sit?”

Dan tried his hardest not to look taken aback but he feared just like every one of his other expressions it would be all too telling. He keenly moved his backpack to his lap and scooted over so he was snug against the side of the bus.

“Y-yeah go ahead” Dan cursed himself silently for struggling to get out the easy statement.

Yet the boy didn’t say anything he just smiled widely and plopped down without worry.

“My friends got a ride today leaving me behind to good old public transportation”

Dan smirked and hugged his backpack tighter suddenly worried about how he was going to continue this conversation because really he didn’t know this kid with his stupid stunning blue eyes and his ghostly complexion that is somehow attractive. And yet the conversation flowed and soon they were discussing their English teachers and the stupidity of the American government and then he was leaving and Dan was waving goodbye as if they were friends.

Now, it’s not like Dan didn’t have any friends he wasn’t exactly classified as a loser at his school or anything. A nerd yes but not a loser. His best friend was Louise his favourite person in the world who is obsessed with fashion and makeup and once let him try it out even though she knew he'd be terrible. The problem is that in his school being smart was equal to being weak so Dan was essentially the weakest kid in his grade. Sue him for enjoying books rather than throwing balls at sweaty guys faces.

The next few days every day after school the mysterious boy was on his bus some days with his friends and other days without. If his friends did join him they would all begin talking together about anime and video games all the stuff boys at Dan's school despised. Their names were Chris and Pj Dan had come to learn and was waiting patiently for the other boy to throw his name into the mix but instead, he just smirked at Dan and winked. Chris and Pj stifled laughs while Dan attempted to ignore the beating of his heart.

“Why won’t you tell me your name?” Dan questioned raising his eyebrow. The boy simply shrugged.

“Same reason you haven’t told me yours,” He said lowly “because there’s no fun in that Dimples”

Dan bit his lip tugging it around as he began to think. When suddenly a smirk of his own appeared on his face.

“Fine...Glasses”

Chris and Pj snickered glancing between the two of them. Phil glared jokingly and then adjusted his glasses plainly to show he didn’t mind the nickname.

After that it was Glasses and Dimples from there on out every single time they would address each other and Chris and Pj would roll there eyes and tell them they were being ridiculous. And yeah they knew they were but just like Glasses said it was all in the fun. Dan never believed he would make three guy friends on his bus in only a week it sounds like some story out of a cliche music video or a PSA about bullying but here he was. And then it was Friday and Dan was actually SAD about not going to school the next day because of the bus ride. Dan already had told Louise about these three rich privileged boys who were actually really humble and funny on his bus, Louise's face had lightened up.

“Any of them...cute?” She asked not even trying to hide the implications of her question.

Dan blushed despite himself and decided there was no point in lying to her, “well yeah there’s this one guy...”

Louise smiled and bumped his arm, “Dude! This is great news!”

Dan rubbed his arm dramatically but still smiled because he supposed yeah this was pretty great. His eyes scanned down the page he was reading trying his fastest to memorize his lines for the upcoming rehearsal. He mumbled under his breath over and over when suddenly his script was being knocked out of his hand. Dan stared at his script lying on the floor and then a foot came down upon it rubbing salt into wound. Dan didn't even have to question who had done it.

“Aw I’m sorry did I crumple up something important?” Dylan asked in a condescending tone.

Dan scowled and didn’t respond. Knew it didn’t matter if he did. Dylan was a class A asshole basically pushing around anyone he wanted because he was on the football team as if that gave you a card to be a dick to people. Worse of all Dan used to like Dylan because he was fit and actually intelligent back in grade six when they were friends. Then as if it had been overnight in grade seven Dylan became popular which is a nice way of saying he now thought he was better then everyone else because of his social status. And ever since then Dylan had remained popular and remained obsessed with his image.

“Hey” Dylan places a heavy hand on his shoulder pressing hard into him, “did I hurt your fag feelings”

“Fuck off Dylan you homophobic piece of shit” Louise exclaimed, flipping him off.

Dylan just smiled like the Cheshire Cat and patted Dan's head messing up his carefully constructed hair.

“See you on Monday Dan Homo—” he coughed falsely, “I mean, Howell”

With that, the asshole walked away and Dan slowly picked up his crumpled script hoping it at least wasn’t ripped. Louise rubbed his back comfortingly and he flinched at the contact.

“Sorry” Louise whispered retracting her hand.

Dan shook his head, “not your fault”

So maybe that dampened Dan's mood about going to school and maybe a break was going to be good for Dan. His new friend was sitting with him again and watched as Dan smoothed his hand over his script trying to be discreet about what he was holding so Glasses wouldn’t ask. Apparently, he wasn’t discreet enough.

“Hey what are you reading now?” Glasses genuinely asked.

Dan tried to shuffle a little further away on the small bus seat unsure if telling him would be a good idea. What if he thought he was lame and didn’t want to hang out with him anymore? It wouldn’t be the first time. And wasn't Glasses supposed to be some conceited I'm-better-cause-I'm-rich asshat? Not that he had been it's just...Dan couldn't think of anything else at the moment.

“It’s-it’s a-um a-” Dan tried to think of any excuse but his mind came up blank, “it’s a script”

Glasses gave him a strange look which definitely didn’t help Dan's confidence but soon a grin began to spread on the boys face.

“You act? That’s so cool! So do you want to be an actor when you grow up?”

Dan couldn’t hear any condescension in his voice but he was still cautious about what he had spilled. He couldn’t possibly be an actor right? No...no it was just a hobby.

“Nah probably not I think I want to be...” Dan threw out the first serious job that came to head “a lawyer”

Glasses face twisted as if he was trying to look like he believed Dan but he just couldn't. Still, he nodded and looked over Dan's shoulder at his highlighted lines.

“Wow, you’re Romeo! Pretty impressive man you must be really good” He cooed.

Dan shoved him but still felt heat rise to his cheeks at the blatant compliment. He turned to face him and their eyes met and for the briefest moment, it almost looked like Glasses eyes flickered to Dan's lips. But then Chris was tugging on his hoodie and his eyes snapped away from Dan leaving him feeling fuzzy. It must have just been the glare from the boy's glasses that was it obviously. Chris whispered some innocuous in his ear and the normal happy expression Glasses usually wore was back.

“Oh right!” He exclaimed, “I almost forgot, Dimples you wanna come to a small party thing tomorrow night?"

Dan seized up. Partying wasn't really his scene I mean he was a drama nerd after all his afternoons were spent line running and making weird noises to warm up his voice in an abstract costume. But Glasses looked so...bright as if he really did want Dan to be there and Dan had never felt that sense of belonging before so why not? What was there to lose?

"Well, yeah sure" Dan responded.

Glasses looked like he was boiling over with happiness at Dan's answer and he wondered how this kid was so okay with showing these types of feelings. Dan would have thought toxic masculinity had spread to all these preppy Western kids but clearly, he found the one guy who didn't seem to fucking care.

"Give me your phone" He suddenly requested holding out his hand expectantly.

Dan did a double take, looking at his pocket with his phone in it and then Glasses.

"What why?" Dan could hear the overly defensive tone in his voice.

Glasses rolled his eyes and scooted closer to Dan his hand still held out.

"Because I said so dork now give me your phone"

Dan tensed for a moment unsure if he wanted to trust this guy with his phone not like he wasn't deserving of trust so far but this was his PHONE here. Cautiously he reached into his pocket withdrawing his new phone and placed it in Glasses palm. Their skin touched for a moment and Dan felt a burst of electricity run through his hand as he drew it back. Dan coughed awkwardly, must just be static electricity from his jeans or something.

Glasses instantly opened up Dan's phone and then rolled his eyes again and sighed. Without saying anything he grabbed Dan's hand which made Dan let out a tiny gasp as Glasses wrapped his fingers around Dan's thumb. The boy's hands were absurdly soft and Dan almost made the stupid mistake of blurting out 'what kind of moisturizer do you use' which would have been horribly embarrassing. They were also strong and Dan wondered if Glasses worked out, maybe in the private gym at his fancy high school? Dan had made the executive decision to stop checking Glasses out since they now were becoming friends but sometimes his eyes drifted and he simply forgot to tell himself off for it. Glasses stomach seemed to be flat and toned and oh god what if he had abs? What if Dan could never get the picture of Glasses abs out of his head now? Dan's eyes became focused on his collarbones, smooth rigid bones that led to underneath his shirt. Collarbones had never looked attractive to him before but neither did necks and yet somehow Dan couldn't stop picturing running his fingers down the side of Glasses neck maybe even tracing his fingernails across it just to hear whimpers fly from—

"Earth to Dimples!"

Dan flinched, his eyes snapping up to Glasses who was looking at him like he was an amusing puppy. Dan felt the color rising to his cheeks as he realized he had been caught out. Glasses was still holding his thumb though pressing it against his phone screen and Dan wondered how long he had been staring at him, couldn't have been more than a couple of seconds right?

"I've been calling your name for a minute, you were freaking me out" Glasses stated dropping Dan's hand which was apparently frozen in the air now.

Dan laughed lowly, a small chuckle that reeked of humiliation.

"Well seeing as you don't know my name and I don't usually respond to 'Dimples' that's probably why" Dan almost applauded himself for getting a somewhat accurate response out of his mouth without mumbling or stuttering.

Glasses smirked at that but there was a glimmer of curiosity in his eye that made Dan nervous and so he turned back to his script uncaring about Glasses and his phone anymore. All he heard next was tapping, the sound of a camera flash and then his phone was being laid on his script in front of him.

"There, now you have my contact info I'll send you the address for the party"

Dan opened up his phone like it was a bomb procedure. Delicately he placed his thumb just as Glasses had done moments before and the screen opened blinding him for a second. He swiped through his contacts wanting to see the proof of Glasses in his phone and when he got down to 'G' he saw it. Glasses had taken a horrendous blurry photo of himself but somehow he still looked like a model with his tongue sticking out and with one eye shut and one eye open. Dan shook his head unable to understand how he had become lucky enough to meet this weird-ass stranger. Then Glasses was reaching over him, his muscular arm appearing right in front of his face and Dan looked away because Dan promised himself that's what he would do. Because he will not fall for another straight boy, he just won't and Glasses had to be because he was sporty and nice and—and he just was. Cause they always are and then Dan gets all miserable and then he runs farther into the closet then he already is and just waits to get his heart broken all over again. Cause just like in his book, Dill never falls for Jem, does he?

* * *

It was Saturday night and Dan was freaking the fuck out. Why the hell did he agree to a party!? A party!?? Who was Dan? Fun? Outgoing? Fuck no he wasn't and yet he was sitting in Louise's car because he was going to get his license this summer and wondering if he should call the whole thing off. The house didn't look like a stereotypical party there were no teenagers puking on the chrysanthemums or loud music blaring from the house but it was still intimidating.

"Dan, you need to relax ok? These are your friends!" Louise exclaimed.

Dan gulped, she was right. She's always fucking right but that doesn't mean that he's gonna relax or anything.

"Louise I just met these guys a week ago, maybe they just invited me over to kill me" Dan mumbled.

Louise chuckled, her long mascara covered lashes curling against her cheeks as her face scrunched up.

"It's not funny! I could be ten minutes away from getting hate crimed!"

Louise snorted and laughed even harder at that clutching her stomach through her floral dress shirt. Dan stared at her with murder in his eyes and waited patiently till Louise finished her laughing spell.

"S-Sorry but come on Dan! We are in the freaking suburbs, all lawns on this block are perfectly manicured and I bet you ten dollars their personal chief will greet you at the door" Louise explained still having hints of humor in her voice.

Dan's lips started to quirk upwards at that because in all his fear he hadn't even noticed how cliche this area looked with it's trimmed bushes and doll-houses.

"Ok fine you've got a point... _maybe_ " Dan addressed, "But I have no clue who's going to be there and I haven't talked to any of these guys outside of the bus and—and I'm just really, really nervous"

Louise gazed at him for a few moments evaluating him intensely when finally she sighed, rubbed her head and unbuckled her seat belt.

"Look I told you I have a test to study for that is on Monday and worth half my grade _but_ he said in his text if you wanted to bring anyone you could and so fuck it here I am" She put the car in park and twisted the key out "Bring me, I'll be your plus one"

Dan's heart bubbled feeling tension fizzle away from his shoulders. He reached across the seat and hugged her awkwardly the familiar scent of her lavender perfume filling his nose.

"I know why I choose you to be my most favorite person in the world"

Louise pushed him off gently but a soft smile was on her face now and her eyes reflected happiness.

"Shut up you sap and get your ass out of my car" Louise stated reaching over Dan and unbuckling his belt for him.

They both hopped out of the car and Louise clicked her keys to lock the Subaru her grandparents graciously paid for. Her grandparents were loaded and had no one else to give the money to so Louise pretty much got whatever she asked for from them. But unlike most kids who would take advantage of the situation Louise actually liked her grandparents and went over to bake with them every Sunday. Louise was just that type of unique special person you hold on to for as long as possible.

Dan had chosen to wear a dark grey hoodie and black skinny jeans which were a typical Dan trademark. He had brushed his hair back trying to make it have volume without looking like a lion. He used to hate his curls but had come to accept their appearance and how nicely they framed his face besides that much straightening had not been good for his hair. Once they got to the snow colored door with a brass doorknob that looked like it had been polished this morning Dan took a deep breath and reached out to tap lightly on the doorbell. He stopped before doing so and tugged on his sweater again making sure he still looked as presentable as he did thirty seconds ago. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Louise roll her eyes and then she nudged him out of the way.

"Jesus Christ" She mumbled pressed the doorbell and then crossed her arms.

Dan shoved her over, "I was going to—"

"Sure you were" Louise interrupted patting him condescendingly.

"Sure you were" Dan mimicked knocking her hand away and crossing his arms now matching her stance.

In only a few seconds the door was opening and Dan half expected their personal chief just as Louise had suggested but was greeted by Glasses instead. He was wearing a black sweater which suited his complexion way to well and fitted black jeans, Dan already felt his palms sweating.

"Dimples hey!" Glasses exclaimed and stepped out of the way, "Come on in"

Both Dan and Louise stepped into the house which was absolutely stunning on the inside. The colour concept was definitely muted brown tones and their tan pieces of furniture perfectly contrasted against their white carpet. What? He had been watching a lot of 'Love It or List It' recently.

Glasses noticed Louise move in after Dan and he smiled broadly, his teeth glimmering in the muted lighting of the house.

"Hey it's nice to meet you, you must be Dimples friend," Glasses said sweetly.

Louise tossed her blonde bouncy hair over her shoulder and nodded, "Yeah, my name's Louise and you must be Glasses I've heard _tons_ "

Dan lightly pushed her, raising his eyebrows in an annoyed manner. Louise just smirked and placed her traitorous hand on Dan's shoulder.

"All good of course"

Glasses chuckled and ran a confident hand through his hair, "Well that's good! Glad to know I've made a lasting impression"

His tongue poked out of his mouth and Dan felt his stomach bubble at how cute it was. Suddenly Dan noticed that there was soft music coming from the basement and he assumed that was where the party must be. Glasses regarded this and motioned for them to follow him down some long steps that twisted in 180 degrees, they looked like they were new as there wasn't a single scratch on the oak. Dan rolled his eyes at himself, he needed to stop paying attention to the flooring. Once they arrived into the basement he spotted Chris and Pj and...no one else. Glasses must have seen Dan observing the room as he chuckled and walked over to join his two friends.

"I told you it was gonna be small" Glasses smirked, "I'm not really a full house partying kind of guy"

Dan breathed out in relief but was also grateful that Louise was here with him because this was a lot more intimate then he was expecting. Louise lightly nudged him forward and Dan went willingly.

"By the way, Chris and Pj meet Louise" Phil mentioned and Chris and Pj both waved at her.

She smiled at them and then went back to admiring the space around her.

"This is an amazing house" She commented, "Where are your parents?"

Glasses walked over to grab a pop from a table packed with assorted chips and drinks. He opened a beer and took a short sip from it as he went to sit down on a comfortable beanbag.

"Out of town," He said, his smile faltering a bit as if mentioning it made him uneasy.

Louise picked up on this and so she just nodded her head and didn't follow up with any more questions.

"Hey how about we get this party started with a good old game of Mario Kart?" Chris mentioned waving around a controller.

Dan had noticed the X-box in the corner of the room first out of everything down here since he had been dying to play something other than PC for so long.

"Why not?" Phil shrugged and grabbed his beanbag to move it, "Dimples, you down?"

Dan nodded vigorously but before going he turned to Louise, "Ready for me to beat your ass?"

Louise glared playfully at him and put up her hands in a boxing position, "Can't be ready for something that's _never_ going to happen"

The three other people in the room went 'ooh!' which made Dan even more determined.

"You know those are fighting words L," Dan said moving over to sit on the floor next to Glasses beanbag.

Louise smirked and took her own seat next to Chris so Glasses was in the middle of them, "Oh I know"

"Wow, serious competitors here" Glasses teased, "I am definitely excited to see this"

Dan laughed, "Last time we played Mario Kart I broke Louise's controller in half"

Glasses raised his eyebrows, shock, amusement, and concern all mixing together on his face.

"Don't ask" Dan stated.

Glasses put his hands up defensively and smirked at Dan who crossed his legs and settled in.

"Remind me to watch my controller as we play the game," Chris said and Pj nodded in agreement.

Dan chuckled and nodded, "Will do"

"Wait!" Glasses called out, "Everyone get some drinks and put them in the red solo cups, we have to be typical teenagers somehow!"

Everyone groaned in response but begrudgingly got up and poured beer into there cups. Dan didn't normally drink but he also didn't normally have a reason to so. They all sat back down again and handed out the controllers.

The next hour and a half was full of laughing, screaming and falling to the floor in anguish as each of them pulled at their hair in frustration. Many of them threw out meaningless threats as they were hit by items out of nowhere. In the end, Louise had won most of the games and Dan mentioned that she had been beating him for years no matter how much he practiced. The rest of the boys gave her a handshake at the end of the game as if they had just had a soccer match or something. Dan got up to refill his drink from the table, already feeling a little buzzed from the alcohol and watched as his old friend teased his three new friends as if getting to know them was as easy for her as it had been for him.

They were all good guys, he knew that right off the bat, especially Glasses. There was something about his carefree attitude and the way he looked around at each of them during the game to make sure everyone was having a good time not to mention how cute it was when he sucked at each round they played. His hair was slightly messy from how many times he had scrunched his fingers in it, defeated by his own performance. He sipped at the beer he had picked up and knew he was doing it again. He was fucking up his own life by watching Glasses and not wanting to stop. Maybe if Dan just remembered that, he'd be able to check himself before it's too late.

"Dimples grab me another beer!" Louise exclaimed, her words slurring.

Louise had always been kind of a lightweight and she had already refilled her cup a few times.

"No way buddy, you need to study tomorrow and not spend the day throwing up" Dan reminded.

"Come on! Just one more?" Louise pouted and gave him the saddest eyes she could manage.

He sighed and shook his head knowing she would regret that decision later but everyone was having a good time and he didn't feel like being the parent tonight. He grabbed a beer and tossed it to her which she somehow caught with accomplishment albeit it wasn't gracefully.

"Guys I have an amazing idea" Chris stated.

Everyone turned their head to him, he had drunk slightly less than the rest of them but was obviously riding the same wave they were.

"I think next game on the list is definitely....truth or dare"

The group groaned in sequence. Truth or dare was such a childish game made for repressed twelve-year-olds at sleepovers.

"Truth or Dare really Chris?" Glasses inquired, "Sounds like you want us to spill a few secrets"

Chris giggled, "We have to initiate Dimples and Louise in the group somehow and I'd say knowing way too much about each other is the perfect way"

Glasses rolled his eyes but began to move his beanbag to the middle of the room. Pj and Chris followed suit by moving themselves to either side of Phil.

"Alright circle up team" Pj called out.

Louise slowly removed herself from in front of the X-Box and plopped down next to Pj. Dan took another swig of his drink and then placed it on the table worried he would spill it on the carpet then he sat down beside Chris. Everyone was quiet for a few moments before Chris clapped his hands together loudly.

"Fine, I guess I"LL go" He rubbed his hands together manically, "Hmm, I think I'll choose...Glasses"

Glasses raised an eyebrow as if he had already expected that anyway, "Predictable Chris"

"As if" Chris joked "So, Truth or Dare big guy?"

Glasses tapped his chin thoughtfully, lounging back comfortably in his beanbag chair.

"I guess truth since I don't really want to be prank calling Ms. Amanda again and telling her I've been in love with her since second grade"

Dan blushed for the sake of Glasses. Jesus at least Chris had no clue who any of his teachers were he was safe in that regard. Yet even though Glasses chose the safest out of the two answers Chris grinned deviously.

"Don't think you're safe" Chris confirmed, "Ok let's start off easy, What color underwear are you wearing?"

Glasses rolled his eyes and Dan still felt awkward for his sake. That wasn't even that bad it just was a strange question to be asked by your friends. And now, Glasses was pulling back the waistband of his pants and Dan and Louise averted their eyes out of respect he guessed?

"Well, Chris for you're information they are dark blue" Glasses stated and took another drink from his cup.

"Really? Not the pink satiny ones you like so much?" Chris taunted.

Glasses sputtered and a line of beer dribbled down his chin. He wiped at it with his sweater still coughing from the surprise of Chris's response.

"Dick" He exclaimed once he had calmed down.

Pj, Louise, and Dan had snickered quietly all amused at the interaction between Glasses and Chris. Glasses noticed this and slanted his eyes till they were slits staring at Dan.

"Oh, you think this is funny Dimples? I suppose it's your turn then" Glasses said threateningly.

Dan stopped laughing immediately and felt the instant rush of anxiety pierce him again.

"Truth, give me your best shot" That was Dan's best attempt at seeming calm.

Glasses smirked and cracked his knuckles as if that was supposed to intimidate Dan when it just made him chuckle at the stereotypical bully move.

"Hm ok..." Phil snapped his fingers, "I've got it, would you rather lose your dick forever or gain 200 pounds?"

Dan blushed despite himself, perhaps it was the word dick coming from Phil's mouth in relation to Dan's body that did it. He peeked a look at Louise who was laughing to herself a tiny amused smirk playing on her lips.

"Share with the class Louise" Dan jested with hints of curiosity underlining it.

Louise raised an eyebrow at him, "I just know your answer is all"

Dan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and motioned for her to continue.

She giggled and bit her lip, "Well I happen to know a certain someone that you're obviously hardcore crushing on would be very disappointed if there was nothing under those ridiculously tight pants"

Dan's eyes widened and he turned the color of a fire truck, "Oh my god Louise"

Louise shrugged, the aid of alcohol loosening her lips quite a but unfortunately for Dan. Dan snuck a look at Glasses who was smirking at him, his eyes glistening with interest.

"Hardcore crushing huh Dimples?" Chris asked with intention in his voice.

"No" Dan stated, "No questions about it because it's not—there's NO crush I promise you that"

Dan gave a hard look at Louise that told her to keep her mouth shut. Louise simply smiled and sipped her drink clearly getting the message.

Dan rubbed his cheeks hoping the blush would go away, "Yes ok I would rather gain 200 pounds no discussion needs to happen, now PJ"

Dan directed the question to the quietest person in the group mostly because he wanted the attention off of him but also since anyone that is that withdrawn has got to have some secrets.

PJ smiled softly, "Dare"

Dan raised his eyebrows surprised by the assuredness.

PJ giggled, "I'm not scared of you Dimples"

Bad for PJ Dan took that as a complete and utter challenge.

"Oh, you should not have said that" Louise commented.

Pj didn't seem to be affected by that statement still holding his ground as he stared down Dan. Dan thought about making him eat something gross or run down the street naked but he knew the former was to tame and the latter a little extreme so he went for one in the middle.

"Alright PJ, you did this to yourself remember that, " Dan warned smiling once Pj rolled his eyes, "I dare you...to kiss Chris in five different spots"

"What why am I involved!?" Chris exclaimed, eyes becoming enormous.

"Blame Pj dude," Dan said.

"Come on Chris bring that bodacious body over here" Pj teased motioning to him with one finger.

Chris exhaled heavily out of his mouth, "At least I'm wearing a short sleeve shirt"

"Five spots hm," PJ thought out loud.

Without reluctance, Pj grabbed Chris's hand and placed a chaste kiss on it as if he was courting him, "M'lady"

Chris gave him a deadpan stare though he was clearly amused. Next Pj moved so he could kiss his elbow and then his shoulder.

"Three out of five" Glasses said taking the role of the scorekeeper.

"Thank's Glasses" Pj responded sarcastically.

Abruptly he grabbed Chris's leg and rolled up his sweatpants to kiss his ankle and for the last choice he threw down Chris's leg and kissed his knee through the fabric. Afterward, he gave a tiny bow and sat back on his knees. Chris stuck out his tongue at Pj in disgust and then scooted back to his original placement.

"I say, we heat things up" Pj suggested, "Louise"

Louise was as collected as he had been, perhaps that's why he chose her. He seemed to like a challenge just as much as Dan.

"Dare" Her lips smacked together after she said it like it was a finishing thought.

Pj sneered enjoying the participation, "Since Dimples wanted to get someone else involved I think he should get a taste of his own medicine"

Dan didn't expect the switch around so he glanced nervously between Louise and Pj, what exactly was he about to make them do?

"Louise, I'd like you to swap shirts with Dimples over here without leaving the room"

The dare didn't seem to frighten Louise nearly as much as Pj wanted it too. He didn't know her like Dan did, Louise was practically an exhibitionist and had no problem stripping in front of random strangers. That's not to say she doesn't know a time and a place for such events but she was the crazier one out of the two of them and Dan also had a feeling Louise might have a little crush of her own. Really it was more embarrassing for Dan because he was going to have to show off his body as well and yeah he was pretty fit for a seventeen-year-old boy who only ate chips but he lacked some of the muscle Glasses had and he just wasn't one to show off anyway.

"I always thought you'd look lovely in a floral print darling" Louise teased saucily.

Dan gave her his cruelest bitch face and tried not to think of the people staring them down. He grabbed at his sweater and pulled it over his head hoping his hair didn't get to messed up by it. All that was left was a plain dark grey T-shirt which Louise would be wearing. In the second that Dan had stopped, he saw Louise pull off her shirt without any qualms about the matter. She had on a plain black bra with lace outlining it and Dan thought it was absolutely gorgeous and no he wasn't one of those stereotypical gays that are fashionistas and get disgusted by lady parts. He thought Louise was beautiful he just wasn't attracted to her sexually. She had large breasts and a curvy waist and if he was straight Dan was sure by now he would be so into her but this was the fifth time Dan had seen her body and all he had was an appreciation for the clothing piece she had picked out so...that was that. It was easy to spot the straights in the room though seeing as Pj and Chris both were in awe their eyes looking away and back again to gawk. Dan disregarded them and began to strip off his own shirt when he made eye contact with Glasses who hadn't seemed to be looking at Louise at all. He smiled slyly at him and motioned for him to continue as he drank from his cup deliberately. For some reason, Dan didn't blush or look away he just continued lifting up his shirt and then pulling it all the way off from the back. Once he was bare-chested Glasses was occupied with his drink looking at it like it was a thing of beauty and Dan could sense the hesitation there. Soon enough, Glasses eyes flitted over to Dan and in a moment of courage, he let his eyes fall down Dan's chest taking in the subtle shape of abs he had with his slightly tanned skin and Dan felt...fucking hot. In both senses of the word.

"Dan take this" Louise said abruptly and then gasped quietly.

She had slipped up and said his name but really when Glasses was looking at him like he wanted to devour Dan first names seemed necessary.

"Dan!" Chris called out, "Finally we have a fucking name for you instead of Dimples!"

Dan let his eyes flash away from Glasses to see the satisfied looks on Pj and Chris's faces.

"Sorry, Dan!" Louise squeaked, still shirtless.

Dan snickered and shook his head, "It's not a big deal I've been meaning to let it slip all night but here take this"

Dan shoved his shirt into her hand and threw on the shirt she gave him which was definitely a size too small. He tried his best to slip on the shirt without a problem but it was becoming tighter around his midsection than he had expected. He wheezed as he strived to get it past his ribs not wanting to rip the nice fabric.

"Phil"

A voice struck him from across the way. Dan ceased struggling and looked over to Glasses who had just spoken. Everyone had grown silent and now Louise was in Dan's shirt looking as comfortable as ever as Dan fought to breathe now because of two reasons.

"Phil?" Dan inquired, "That's your name?"

Phil smiled and tapped his finger against the metal of his can of beer, "Yup that's me"

Dan beamed and couldn't care less that this stupid shirt was cutting off all his circulation because Phil was a nice name. It was basic and easy to spill past the lips and now he had a name to give to the face he liked so much.

"Yes Dan meet Phil now that we have proper introductions _finally_ out of the way can we take a moment to assess the disaster here" Chris pointed to Dan and he studied himself.

Fuck he looked crazy, his stomach was practically bulging past the material and he was sure that if he didn't take it off it was going to rip.

"Ok, I think fun and games might be over cause I don't think this shirt is going to last the night if I continue to wear it" Dan noted.

Louise nodded excessively seeing as it was her shirt and so Dan lifted his arms and quirked his chin at Louise to come pull it off. They had been friends for so long that, that one movement was enough for Louise to grin and stand up pulling on the extremely tight fabric causing Dan lots of breathing difficulty. Somehow Louise twisted it expertly and it came off surprisingly quick leaving Dan shirtless once more.

"Dan?"

The sound of Gla-Phil saying his name was kind of remarkably weird and yet made the skin on his neck heat up in a pleasant type of way.

"Do you play any sports?" Phil wondered.

Dan's face screwed up in confusion and he shook his head quickly, "No, why do you ask?"

"Well it's just," Phil paused and took another sip of beer, "You just seem like you have an athletes body"

Dan's face flushed and he fiddled with his fingers not exactly sure how to respond to that properly. Before he could even consider a response something was being thrown into his lap. It was his hoodie.

"You gonna stay shirtless all night?" Louise teased.

Dan laughed sarcastically but quickly threw on the piece of clothing remembering his fears of changing in the first place.

"I'm keeping on this shirt though Howell, it's way more comfortable"

Dan huffed but smiled in her direction.

"Ok let's keep this game rolling, Louise who you wanna ask next?" Chris pressed.

Louise tapped her chin thoughtfully and then peered at Phil clearly making up her mind rather quickly.

"Phil truth or dare?" Louise asked.

Phil dramatically smoothed his fingers down his chin like he had a beard until finally, "I suppose dare"

Louise smiled deviously, "Ok Phil, I dare you to...give Danny boy here a lap dance for two minutes and the group gets to choose the song"

Dan felt his mouth fill with quicksand as it suddenly became super dry, he gave Louise the dirtiest expression he could but she didn't even bother looking at him. Phil was obviously in the same boat as Dan seeing as he almost dropped his beer can out of pure shock. Dan was feeling pretty good from the beer but not good enough to block this out. Two minutes was a long ass time what exactly was Dan supposed to during those two minutes?

"Why am I getting pulled into another dare?" Dan whined, pouting exaggeratedly.

"Sorry but that's my offer" Louise stated.

Phil smirked clearly letting fake cockiness overtake any embarrassment, "You know what? Let's do this"

Phil walked over to Dan and Dan instantly stood up like Phil had summoned him to or something. Phil just laughed and grabbed Dan by the shirt guiding him over to the beanbag chair and then pushing him down. And normally Dan didn't like to be pushed around but that simple action had made his mouth even drier and his neck even hotter.

"Are you ready to be finessed?" Phil moved his eyebrows flirtatiously.

Dan choked on his laughter trying to find this situation extremely funny instead of extremely awkward. Louise, Pj, and Chris gathered in a small circle and quiet whispers filled the room while Phil just stared down at Dan with determination in his eyes. Suddenly the circle broke apart and Louise cleared her throat.

"Ok, we have picked the song!" She announced "Toxic by Britney Spears"

Phil and Dan groaned in unison, they couldn't have picked a less sexy song? Phil was Dan's friend or at least temporary friend seeing as Dan couldn't imagine Phil would ever want to speak to him much less hang out after this. Chris, Pj, and Louise looked way too happy to be putting them in this predicament and Dan couldn't help but think back to what Louise had said earlier. She had gotten in her mind recently that Dan had a 'hardcore crush' on Phil which couldn't possibly be true because Dan made sure he didn't let Phil's looks corrupt Dan's mind. Sure he was nice to look at, so was Chris Hemsworth though and Dan didn't picture a relationship with him because he knew it was _never_ going to happen. So Louise can dream about playing matchmaker but Phil clearly wasn't interested the only reason he had been staring at Dan like that earlier was because he thought Dan was an athlete. And wasn't it hypocritical of Dan to assume a straight boy couldn't appreciate another guys body?

"I don't even know how I'm supposed to begin this so, don't laugh," Phil told him, his tongue slipping out of his mouth.

Dan nodded and crossed his arms unsure of where they were supposed to go. He had never gotten a lapdance obviously between studying and rehearsals where would he have had the time?

"Putting two minutes onto the clock now and now—" Louise's nail clicked against the screen and at once the classic tune filled the air, "—Began whenever you're ready Phil"

"Whenever I'm ready" Phil mumbled caustically.

After that, the room was silent except for Dan and Phil's breath intertwining and the first lyrics filling their ears. Phil gave Dan a look he had never seen from Phil before it was loaded with apprehension and nerves. But also had a hefty power behind it, one that told Dan that Phil was going to get through with this no matter what. Phil began swaying his hips in a sultry manner and absentmindedly was singing along with the lyrics focusing on the floor rather than Dan. He brought his hands up to his shoulders and let them stroke down his chest which made moisture finally began filling Dan's mouth again. He made sure his eyes didn't darken with the tension that they both were drowning in suddenly. Then, out of nowhere, Phil kicked open Dan's legs (Dan hadn't even noticed they had gone numb) and he gradually let his body drop down onto Dan's lap. As soon as he was fully seated a giggle flew out of his mouth and Dan huffed out a laugh of his own.

"So bad at this" Phil whispered to him as his hips began to move languidly on Dan's lap.

Dan swallowed harshly not expecting the sudden pressure of Phil's movements and how close their mouths were and how he could smell Phil's vanilla body wash or maybe that was just his natural scent?

"Doing better than you think" Dan let slip from his mouth.

The reaction was not expected as Dan believed Phil would just laugh off the careless compliment but instead he became oddly serious.

"Really?" Phil wondered licking his lips.

Dan's vision went blurry or maybe he was possibly going blind with that one fatal move. His breathing was choppy now and Phil was moving his arms to around Dan's neck and fuck none of this was going to plan. Was there a plan anyway? Phil's breath was hitting his neck and he was leaning in closer to Dan as if he wasn't actually going to stop before his lips and then he stood up his arms still hanging loosely around Dan making his head follow Phil's movements. And Dan promised himself he wouldn't think about the fact that Phil's dick was mere inches away from his face in this tight jeans that sculpted his ass ludicrously well and he also wouldn't think about the fact that he was ridiculously turned on right now. Dan couldn't even hear the music anymore just like how he hadn't been able to hear the noises of the bus a few days ago everything in him was concentrated on Phil and his stupid, pouty, sexy lips that were curved in an insanely attractive smirk that should be criminal frankly. And then he was mouthing the words again and smoothing his hands down the front of Dan's hoodie tugging at it like he was going to rip it off and hey, wasn't that a thought. Phil next began moving backward away from Dan his hands moving with him all the way down Dan's hoodie to his hips and then caressed down Dan's legs leaving sparks of electricity wherever he touched. Once his hands reached his knees, Phil, easily settled between Dan's legs his eyes never once leaving his.

"Don't you know that you're toxic?" Phil sang softly and then the music abruptly stopped as the timer went off.

Dan's body was thrumming with an energy he didn't know was possible his brain had fully shut down and was now making fax machine noises. He was impossibly hard and that was only hidden from the general public because of his hoodie which was pretty thin fabric. And Phil was still looking at him like—like something he couldn't even describe. His eyes which were usually bright looked something more like molten lava but with blue piercing through instead of red.

Wolf whistles rang throughout the room along with clapping from Louise who was also hollering.

"Damn Phil, you could make a career out of this!" Chris exclaimed patting Phil harshly on the back.

The blush that Dan was waiting for finally erupted on Phil's face and he broke his eye contact with Dan taking more interest in the floor again.

"I don't think any other truth or dares could compete with that so let's give it up for the two winners of the game!" Louise shouted slurring more as she had clearly decided to take a few extra drinks and the clapping began again.

Suddenly Pj yawned and stretched his arms wide, "Hey what time is it?"

Chris looked down at his watch and his eyes enlarged, "Oh shit it's like twelve-thirty, I have to go to my little brother's basketball game tomorrow"

Louise swiftly seemed panic-stricken at this news and her eyes became moons as well.

"Dan! Fuck I completely forgot about driving tonight!"

Dan, still dizzy from his recent lapdance, took a few seconds to process before he realized the problem. Louise had drunk way too much to be driving back tonight and their neighborhood was like an hour away.

"Fuck" Dan eloquently responded with.

Phil shook his head and waved his hand, "It's not a problem just stay the night guys"

Dan and Louise's eyes met and an almost sinister smile appeared on Louise's face which made Dan's palms sweat.

"Really Phil? If it's no problem that would be great" Louise replied batting her eyelashes innocently.

Phil waved his hand again, "Not a problem at all, we have a spare bedroom upstairs and Dan can share my bed with me"

Dan's heart seized up and he was waiting for the heart attack. Share a bed? With Phil? Sure sounds like a GRAND idea!

Chris and Pj grabbed their things and said quick goodbyes while swiftly heading out. Phil had mentioned that they lived only a few houses down so they would just walk home.

* * *

And so that’s how a half an hour later, after Dan had texted his mom that he was sleeping over, Louise was upstairs snug in the luxurious guest room with an en suite bathroom and Dan was fiddling with his hoodie unsure of whether to get in Phil’s bed or not. His room was really nice but also completely not what he expected. Unlike every other room, it was messy. It had clothes strung about and pieces of paper piled on his desk with pens scattered around. Yet everything seemed to be in its proper place. And it’s not like Phil was a slob it was just miscellaneous clutter that had built up and weirdly was sort of endearing.

“Ok polar bears or iguanas?” Phil exclaimed from his hallway.

“You really don’t have any PJs in black?” Dan called back picking up and admiring a trophy for an essay competition.

Phil poked his head back into his room holding up both sets making Dan flinch almost dropping the valuable, “Just pick one Dan”

Dan groaned and pointed at the iguana pair because Dan was thinking camouflage was exactly what he needed right now and also, maybe it let him hold on to a little more of his dignity.

Phil threw the pair at him and Dan managed to catch them mid-air obviously years of P.E had trained him for that moment. Not. Phil snuck out again to go brush his teeth in the bathroom while Dan continued to observe the trophy. And it got Dan thinking about the future again which seemed to be all he could do these days with three months left of high school.

“Hey, Phil?” He called out, the word still feeling unfamiliar in his mouth.

“Yegh?” Phil responded mouth full of toothpaste.

“I never asked what you wanted to be when you grew up”

There was a quietness that Dan got plummeted into which made Dan unclear if that was a forbidden topic or not. He heard Phil continue to brush his teeth, swirling water around in his mouth and spitting it out. Finally, he came back into the room leaning against the doorframe with a reluctant nature about him.

“Author” Phil confessed, crossing his arms protectively.

His gaze dropped to the floor and Dan had determined by this point that Phil only did that when he was feeling extremely apprehensive about something.

“Makes sense” Dan admitted gesturing to the award, “you must be good”

Phil’s eyes glimmered with hopefulness and yet still presented fear to Dan like a speech.

“What was your essay about?” Dan wondered thumbing at the PJs in his hand.

“The wage gap present in America” Phil seemed to swell up at the introduction of his subject.

He was clearly proud of himself for winning but was holding himself back from showing that too much. Dan could understand why and wanted to respect Phil’s boundaries as much as possible.

“We should...probably get to bed” Phil mentioned “seems like your friend has lots of studying to do tomorrow so I’ll set an alarm”

Dan gulped presented with the same issue he had before a.k.a sharing a bed with Phil. The cute, fit avid essay writer Phil. But instead of throwing himself on the floor and having a full-blown panic attack Dan nodded, smiled and headed to the bathroom to change. It was slightly chilly in the air-conditioned house and so Dan told Phil he would just wear his hoodie to bed. As soon as he had come back from the bathroom definitely not thinking about the fact he was wearing Phil’s clothes and how they were slightly tight for his thicker legs he noticed Phil was lying atop the covers playing on his phone.

Dan nervously waddled over to the other side and lowered himself onto it like it was one of those nail pressure point beds at the science center. Phil snickered which made Dan turn his head sharply hurting his neck and hitting his elbow against the headboard.

“You good there?” Phil asked with humour in his voice.

“Oh yeah, perfect” Dan said gritting his teeth in pain and holding his elbow.

Phil rolled his eyes and placed his phone down on his bedside table. The one cleared off surface in his bedroom with only an alarm clock on it. Without the phone light, they were plunged into complete darkness which made it easier for Dan to look Phil in the face or what was presumably his face. It was pretty dark. Then he pulled his sheets out from beneath him and climbed under wriggling around to get comfortable. Dan was frozen in shock at the prospect of sharing a bed with this guy he hardly knows who's been turning him on for the past three hours and who wants to be a goddamn author with his intelligent essay writing ass. And yet he just delicately got off the bed threw back the green and blue squared covers and crawled underneath. He prided himself on getting every limb under the covers and squirming to get comfortable without touching Phil at all.

When his head hit the pillow he hadn’t realized how tired he truly was from all the festivities of the night and his body relaxed just the tiniest bit into the mattress as his eyes fluttered shut. One question still remained in his head though and Dan really did respect Phil’s boundaries but he was simply curious.

“Phil?”

In the darkness, Phil hummed back in response clearly exhausted as well.

“Why do you want to be an author?”

Dan felt Phil tighten up beside him but majorly less than the last time he brought up the subject. Phil sighed into his pillow and rolled over so his breath was now hitting Dans back.

“Because...I want to change the world and sometimes writing feels like the only way I know how to do that”

Dan’s chest ached at the honesty of Phil’s answer and he was glad he didn’t play it off as a joke or simply not respond.

“Cool” Was Dan's lackluster reaction.

Phil chuckled and the air from it tickled Dan's skin, he hadn’t realized how small this bed was until now.

“Maybe I should reconsider my job options though” Phil replied thoughtfully.

Dan's brows furrowed and he turned which could have been a horrible mistake seeing as Phil had been noticeably close before he did but by gods grace his face ended up inches from Phil’s instead of on him. Dan gasped soundlessly and shuffled back watching as Phil did the same. Both of them seemingly flustered by the awkward moment.

“What do you mean?” Dan asked getting back on track with the point Phil brought up.

Phil smirked and his eyes dazzled in the pitch black, “Well I would say I could be one hell of a stripper”

Dan blushed instantly given flashbacks of Phil’s strange newfound quality of dancing seductively.

“Yeah right, strangers would give you a dollar at best” Dan teased biting his lip playfully.

“Really?” Phil shot back “how many would you give me?”

Dan stilled unsure of how to answer the question without giving way to much away. A million he would say if he had the guts or maybe if he really was some stranger in a dark strip club he’d ask Phil for a private dance in the back just based on the one given but seeing as he was neither of those things he just said.

“25 cents”

Phil hit him in the stomach despite not being able to see.

“If your lucky” Dans voice bubbled with laughter.

Phil hit him twice this time making Dan shield his stomach.

“Ok ok! I’m kidding I’d be a most loyal consumer at your strip club!”

Phil stopped throwing punches as a scoff rang throughout the air. Dan heard the covers rustling and then silence.

“G’night Dimples” Phil mumbled with his mouth against his pillow.

Dan’s eyes fluttered shut and his heart beat the tiniest bit quicker at the reminder of there old nicknames. And he inhaled the scent of his pillow noticing how it smelled just like Phil.

“Goodnight Glasses” Dan replied and relaxed fully into the mattress darkness taking over in seconds.

* * *

Dan woke up to sunlight streaming in the basement window hitting him squarely in the face. He blinked the blurriness out of his eyes and had a momentary panic about his surroundings when he remembered the party and sleeping in Phil’s bed. Phil’s bed. Dan rolled over lazily and was now face to face with a sleeping Phil, his black hair was messy and falling down the front of his face. His soft breathing was creating a light humming noise that added to the sounds of the birds outside. It was almost nice being able to observe Phil like this without worrying about judgment as creepy as that sounds. Dan knew he sounded cliche but Phil was just so...pretty everything about him was hard edges mixed with soft smiles and it made Dan's brain melt because fuck he was in Phil’s bed. And he could just lean forward and kiss those plush pink lips and no one would ever know and Dan wouldn’t have to explain the gay thing and it would be so much...easier. But wrong in so many ways.

The alarm beside the bed suddenly went off blaring that PTSD inducing screech that all students knew way too well and Phil’s eyes were fluttering. And Dan was still staring at Phil. Shit. Dan closed his eyes tightly and pulled the covers up as if that would make him being unconscious more realistic. Dan heard Phil yawn from beside him with yet to turn off the alarm and Dan decided this was his chance to “wake up”. He tried to mimic the natural flutter of his eyes and when they opened Phil was staring unashamedly down at him and smiling. Dan's heart jumped thinking he had been caught out earlier.

“What?” Dan tried to ask drowsily.

Phil blinked slowly and then looked away shaking his head as if there was no point in telling Dan a reason. Finally, he turned his torso and clicked the off button for his alarm.

“It’s nine wanna go up for breakfast before heading home with Louise?” Phil asked tiredly, stretching his arms making his muscles pop which was just unfair.

“Y-Yeah sounds good” Dan coughed his voice was scratchy from sleep.

Phil nodded and threw back the covers and Dan had to hold back a gasp from slipping out. As Phil stood up Dan's eyes tracked his back—his BARE back. Dan's eyes went glassy as he watched the muscles in Phils back ripple.

“What happened to your shirt?” Dan dumbly asked.

It was the first thing that came to his mind other than a garbled mess of fuckyou'resohot.

Phil chuckled his voice as rough as Dan's was from lack of communicating and his head propped over his shoulder.

"Was hot during the night so I took it off"

Well, that's...reasonable and yet so problematic for Dan's conscious to unwrap and chew on. Dan simply had no words, all he could do was blink rather slowly and nod his head as if he understood. Then Phil turned around to face him and Dan had a much harder time digging deep within himself to pull out any form of intelligible speech. Phil was...fit as fuck. He didn't have abs necessarily but his body was toned and flat with a light trail of hair leading into his shorts that did all nasty things to Dan's processing system.

"Boys?" Louise called down sluggishly which made Dan finally start breathing again.

"Coming!" Phil exclaimed upwards and then glanced at Dan "I told her we'd be up by nine last night"

Dan continued to nod wondering if he was going to be stuck like that forever as Phil grabbed his forgotten shirt from last night and pulled it over his head making his hair even messier. As he started to head out Dan watching his ass in those polar bear pajamas Phil stopped and raised his eyebrows at Dan who had hurried to relocate his eye line.

"You coming?" Phil questioned looking Dan up and down twice.

Now that was a really good fucking question and Dan would've loved to been able to hop out of bed with a big old smile and run upstairs with Phil. Unfortunately, the rest of his body, mostly his lower half, was not up to speed with that plan yet.

"I'm still waking up, I'll be up in a minute" Dan replied stretching to make it more convincing.

Phil just shrugged, nodded and then left Dan to his own devices. Dan willed his boner to go away in seconds, thinking about his grandma and dogs all of the things that should distract him but nothing was working. Because in moment Corgis and Grandma Jan flashes of Phil's smooth tight stomach and ass were making appearances. At this rate, Dan was going to go from a semi to a full-fledged boner which was not what he needed especially when Phil was his friend and he really didn't want to get this deep into his stupid crush. In Dan's panic, his dick began to go down making Dan breathe out calmly and think about the smell of waffles wafting into the basement making him salivate. He shook head unappreciative of his thoughts, Phil was his friend and that was it, nothing more. Dan would not ruin this for himself because of stupid physical attraction to Phil cause that's all this was, he was sure.

Dan hopped out of the bed finally and rushed out of Phil's room convincing himself it was clouding his judgment being surrounded by something that was so PHIL. He glimpsed around the room they had gathered in last night random solo cups on the floor from their little game which Dan had to push to the back of his mind as well. Thinking of Phil touching him like he had last night would put him back in the spot he had been in moments ago.

"Dan! Waffles are getting cold!" Phil emitted.

Dan immediately started to sprint up the stairs he had noticed so closely last night. When he opened the door and looked to his left Louise was sitting in an armchair chewing casually on her breakfast her eyes looked sunken in.

"Hey, beauty queen" Dan commented walking over to sit next to her, "How you doing?"

Louise groaned and without looking at him responded, "There's just pain. Everywhere."

Dan giggled and patted her shoulder gently, "Yep that's a hangover"

Suddenly a plate with a waffle and cutlery on it was in front of his face and Dan flinched backward taking the plate instinctively.

"Breakfast for you sir" Phil announced.

Dan determined Phil had been the mysterious force presenting him with food as he came around the chair to sit next to him holding his own plate.

"And for you—" Phil tossed a bottle into Louise's lap, "The best remedy"

Louise picked up and examined the bottle in seeing that it was Advil her face lit up. Without any drink, she popped the advil in her mouth and swallowed. Dan had never been so scared or proud of her than at that moment.

"You're so brave" Dan observe quietly.

Louise leaned her head back against the couch as if she was already feeling instant relief.

"You're too nice" she mentioned towards Phil.

Phil chuckled and shook his head, "Anytime Louise, anytime"

Dan watched a smile form on Louise's face as she stared up at the ceiling. He looked back at Phil who had his own smile to match but he was studying Dan rather than Louise. He had the same crinkles near the corners of his eyes just like that day on the bus and all Dan could was smile back and think to himself, 'oh boy'.


	2. Chapter 2

You've got it for him, _bad_ Howell!" Louise stated, nudging Dan's shoulder.

"I do not!" Dan exclaimed wrapping his arms around himself as he stared out the car window.

"Are you kidding me!? That lap dance had to have been the sexiest thing I've ever seen _and_ not to mention the way you were looking at him this morning"

Dan's face had been a cherry for most of the car ride back to Louise's house seeing as she wouldn't stop talking about the party and Dan's "friendship" with Phil.

"Tell me Dan" Louise waggled her eyebrows, "Did anything _unholy_ happen in that bed last night?"

Dan's mouth fell open, "Oh my god Louise no! He has straight boy written all over him even if I did like him ok?"

Louise guffawed as she stopped at a stop sign "You're delusional man he has posh rich _gay_ boy written all over him"

Dan tightened his jaw and glared at her. Louise was smiling ear to ear at the thought of his non-existent love life.

"I knew that was your plan when you forced us to stay over last night, you bitch! How was the en suite bathroom huh?"

Louise's grin only widened as her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"I have no idea what plan you're referring to but the bathroom was absolutely wonderful Daniel thank you for asking"

Dan rolled his eyes and committed the rest of the car ride to discuss school rather than his personal life. Besides Louise was completely wrong, Phil was totally straight, he slept in the same bed as Dan with his shirt off and had no problem doing so. That was not the sign of a gay boy seeing as just the idea of sharing a bed sent shivers down Dan's spine. And Dan would not admit to Louise that he had a crush seeing as once she had her mindset on an idea there was no point in arguing further.

The following week was filled with the same giddiness on the bus as the first week and when Phil got on Dan already had his backpack on his lap knowing Phil would sit with him. And it was nice. It was nice having a straight, guy friend to talk to even if it did mean he had to listen to Phil constantly talk about sports as if Dan cared.

"And then he made an insane back pass which pretty much saved the entire teams asses" Phil concluded taking a long sip of his Coca Cola.

God it was boring but watching Phil's eyes glimmer with enthusiasm was not so he let the conversation continue. What Dan did notice was how frequent the conversations about Phil's school made their way to conversations about sports. Anytime Dan would ask about their classrooms or teachers Phil would make a short comment about them and then start rambling about different players. Again, Dan didn't want to push Phil seeing as he had only one other friend maybe three if you count Pj and Chris and he didn't really want to lose this one. But that didn't stop his curiosity from blooming and so the next time Phil missed a bus ride which wasn't too often Dan jumped onto the opportunity.

"Hey, Chris?" Dan inquired trying to sound casual.

Chris hummed, looking up from his phone where he was texting some girl named Samantha. Dan really needed to stop being so attentive.

"Why does Phil never want to talk about school?"

Chris tensed up and he sighed deeply as if he was considering his options here.

"I don't mean to pry" Dan quickly stated, "I just couldn't help but notice"

Chris smiled weakly, "No, no I get it he averts the conversation a lot and really it's not anything special, no secret drama"

Chris turned his entire body towards him and Dan assumed this would be the only answer given to him seeing how serious Chris was.

"He hates talking about anything that has to do with his family or the school, you could ask him about an exotic wildflower and that would intrigue him more" Chris chuckled, "It's not my place to tell you his exact reasoning for the things he decides not to share but I will tell you that he is a very secretive person with everyone so don't let it get to you"

And that was all Dan was going to get. Dan still took it even though it just made more questions pop up in his head. Why didn't he like school? Was his family super mean? Why was Phil so secretive? But Dan let it go just like Chris told him to do because truly it wasn't his business and that was final.

One day Phil was hanging outside of Dan's school which surprised Dan. As he was leaving to walk to his bus stop, a hand landed on his shoulder and pulled him back was which disconcerting to be honest. But when he was met with a bright Phil his worries instantly melted away and were replaced with bewildered excitement.

"Phil! What are you doing here?"

Phil looped an arm around Dan's shoulder, "School got off early so I decided to check out your school!"

"How long have you been out here?" Dan wondered. It was 3:30 after all.

Phil's cheeks went into pink territory as he tried to shrug the question off, "One or two hours doesn't matter"

Dan's eyes widened and he blinked rapidly, "One or two hours!? Phil, you spoon!"

He pushed Phil away and chuckled shaking his head. One or two hours was like a century for Dan Phil must have way more patience than him. Phil grabbed his arm and began pulling him towards the crosswalk.

"Come on! I wanna go to 7 Eleven" Phil whined.

Dan snickered and shook his head somehow enjoying the view of Phil even if it was just the back of his head.

"Hey fag"

Phil stopped suddenly and Dan's heart turned to stone as that well-known voice came from behind him. Why today did Brock have to be an ass? Dan slowly turned gulping harshly.

"Brock"

Brock's face seemed to always be either grimacing or smirking and Dan never knew which one looked worse on his face. He had just been in P.E with Brock which is why Brock smelled like sweat and his hair was dampened. Dan, on the other hand, had done nothing and so he was perfectly clean.

"Could you stop checking me out during gym queer? It's really disturbing and makes me want to beat your face into the ground"

Dan really wished this wasn't happening right in front of Phil. Not only was it clear he was getting bullied but now Phil knew Dan was gay and that was something Dan just didn't need Phil to know. It was easier if he was straight and caught looking at Phil, he could blame that on being distracted. But being gay and looking at any guy is setting him up for trouble. His vision was becoming red as he thought about every time this asshole had spoken to him and his fists were clenching.

"Aw, you going to punch me? I bet you won't because you're just a queer little pussy aren't you?" Brock shoved him, "Aren't you!?"

"Hey!" Phil's voice was the roughest and loudest it had been making Dan flinch, "That's enough"

Phil stepped forward so he was in front of Dan and facing Brock. Dan could smell the testosterone from here. He really didn't want Phil backing him up it would just cause him trouble. Brock looked taken aback which was a new look on him.

"Who are you? Huh? Are you this fag's boyfriend?"

And there it was up, everything up in the air and Dan wanted to crawl under the grass like a worm and never see the light of day again. Phil was not supposed to be in this situation hell, Dan wasn't supposed to be either. But the reminder to Dan that Phil was never going to be his boyfriend somehow hurt the most, no matter how much Dan would deny his crush-like feelings.

"Actually," Phil puffed out his chest and narrowed his eyes, "I am"

Dan's heart stopped. Literally, physically stopped as in no more blood was pumping to it.

Brock somehow looked smaller, like he was caving in under the pressure of Phil's voice and he just gave Phil this look. The dirtiest, grossest look he possibly could and that seemed to be it for Bruce as Phil then punched him in the face. Dan gasped loudly without care when Bruce came back up and a huge fight began to start. Dan tried to get in the middle but he was no match for two angry hostile teenage boys and so all he could do was wait for a teacher to arrive and when one finally did escort Phil to the nurse's office.

"Clean him up Mr. Howell and since this has been the only problem with you, and Brock has been a hassle for quite some time I will give you a warning but if I hear about either of you two again there will be consequences" Ms. Randolph raised an eyebrow that had been penciled on, "Do I make myself clear?"

Both of them nodded vigorously Phil wincing as he did and so Ms. Randolph left Dan to wash a piece of cloth.

"You stupid, stupid fool" Dan mumbled, "You don't need to stand up for me like that"

Under Phil's eye was puffy from a punch thrown by Brody along with some bruises and scratches from being knocked down on his forehead and a split lip.

"I thought I was being a hero" Phil pouted with teasing in his tone.

Dan scoffed and wrang out the wet washcloth so he could begin cleaning the wounds.

"So..." Dan swallowed and dabbed the cuts gently, "Boyfriend huh?"

Phil winced but held himself strong as his eyes darted around the room, "Yeah...sorry"

Dan raised an eyebrow, "Sorry?"

Phil sighed and ducked his head having it forced back up by Dan who was still wiping away the blood.

"I wanted to shut him up and...well if you aren't gay then I really fucked things up for you and if you are gay I still fucked things up and just...I'm sorry"

A shadow of a smile fell upon Dan's face as he poured some disinfectant on the cloth from the rack beside the bed. And as he rubbed the cloth lightly over the cuts on Phil's forehead he decided that after being literally saved by Phil he might as well tell him.

"I guess even while being gay he never considered the fact I might actually have a boyfriend" Dan bit his lip, "You gave him quite a shock"

Phil was quiet which was either very bad or moderately good. Dan had assumed Phil wasn't homophobic seeing as he had no problem leaping in and taking the role of Dan's boyfriend which still made his heart flutter. It sounded so genuine when Phil had blurted it out that Dan almost questioned if Phil was his boyfriend for a second.

Abruptly Phil's hand came up to grab Dan's hand, the one that wasn't wiping away at the blood on Phil's lip now. It shocked Dan into stillness and all he could do was look into Phil's eyes.

"Brock is a piece of shit Dan and he shouldn't be able to call you homophobic slurs" Phil stated rubbing the skin of Dan's palm comfortingly.

Dan gulped and began dabbing at the crusted blood again, "Thank you for being there Phil"

Their eyes remained locked for a moment, blue staring into hazel and Dan hadn't realized how close he was after being pulled in by Phil. It felt like they were sharing the same air they were so connected. Lightning bolts danced in Phil's eyes as Dan's hand stilled again. They were so close just like they had been that morning when all Dan could think about was kissing those lips. And now Phil was awake and Dan was openly gay and he could feel this force driving him forward.

"Dan!" Louise shrieked from the door running into the nurse's office.

The moment sound entered the room the connection was broken and it seemed like both Dan and Phil had snapped out of it.

“Oh hey Phil” Louise glanced between them before a knowing smirk overtook her face “didn’t know Dan was playing medic”

Dan blushed ferociously acknowledging the implications underneath her words.

“He was hurt Louise,” Dan said slowly driving his words into her, “so I’m helping him because I’m a good friend”

Louise just smiled and nodded her head deliberately like parents do when they know their child is only telling the half-truth.

“We’re gonna head to 7 Eleven wanna come with?” Phil asked his smile solid on his face with naivety in typical Phil fashion.

Louise looked between the two of them at Dan's subtle glare and Phil’s joyful innocent expression. She giggled softly and backed out of the doorway.

“You know...rain check Phil but have fun” she then turned her head to Dan with a raised eyebrow, “Not too much fun”

With that, she winked and ran out of the door before Dan could catch her arm and give her a stern talking too. Dan looked down at the bloody cloth in his hand, grimaced and threw it into the trash bin. Phil appeared beside him after hopping off of the bed and threw an arm around Dan.

“So, 7 Eleven boyfriend?”

Dan blushed despite himself. Great another Louise he had to deal with in his life. Phil’s eyes were shimmering with joviality and Dan grumbled internally as he smiled unamused.

“Lead the way”

* * *

“Ok, Phil seriously where are we going?”

After getting Slurpees, Dan with regular Cream Soda and Phil with a mixture of Coca Cola, Blue Raspberry, and some other sickly sweet flavours, Phil led him onto a random bus to an obscure bus stop. Now they were in a dark forest presumably near Phil’s house as the furnished lawns around them screamed rich.

“Just trust me!” Phil exclaimed dragging Dan through more bushes.

“Trust you? The most stereotypical serial killer catchphrase? Well now I know I’m about to be murdered”

Phil rolled his eyes and pushed Dan through a big leafy tree the branches whipped Dan in the face but when he came out onto the other side he was met by a grassy meadow, small and secluded with trees circling it. It was more like a campsite if anything a gathering of sticks in the corner had a tent draped over them.

“Did you take me to a homeless man's hideout?” Dan inquired feeling balmy under the spring sun.

Phil shook his head as if Dan was asking seriously and ducked under the tent onto a sleeping bag sitting next to a fresh magazine, a few bags of chips and candles.

“This is my secret island” Phil smiled gesturing around him.

Dan’s lips quirked into a smile letting his eyes scan over Phil’s ‘paradise’. The grass was dewy from fresh rain and there was a patch of Gardenias standing tall and proud contrasting from the dark shrubbery behind them. A butterfly fluttered near Dan's head and he flinched hating anything that resembled a moth but when it floated over to a flower petal the colours intertwined beautifully. Dan liked it here, he wasn’t sure if it was the view or if it was because of Phil’s beaming smile from his fort. Phil seemed incredibly comfortable here far more calm than he had been in his own home.

“How did you find this place?” Dan asked climbing into the makeshift tent beside Phil.

Phil moved from a crouch position to sitting cross-legged which made their knees touch.

“I took a bus down here one day a few years ago and decided to go exploring in the forest when I came across this area with nothing in it” Phil talked as if he was retelling an entrancing dream, “I didn’t feel it should remain empty and unappreciated so I came out every day for month in the summer and built a little getaway”

The way Phil described it was like it was a resort and not a grassy field in the middle of a forest. His eyes lit up like fireworks in a blue sky and he was moving his hands more than usual while talking. Dan knew that Phil was excitable but this was more than that, this entire place meant more than a conversation about cacti or corgis. This place held memories that Dan could feel bubbling around him as if he could reach out and grasp one. He could picture a shaggy-haired Phil with work gloves that were too big building a new hangout.

“So do you bring Chris and Pj up here and hang?” Dan asked nonchalantly glancing up to see birds flying over the setting sky.

Phil didn’t answer for a moment and Dan assumed it was because he was still distracted by his craftsmanship but he found Phil chewing his lip nervously.

“Actually no...” Phil said, knee bumping against Dans again.

Dan’s curiosity peaked and he gave his attention to Phil awaiting the explanation he could sense on the tip of Phil’s tongue.

“I don’t really bring anyone here”

Dan raised an eyebrow but tried to not let that corrupt his mind though his internal thoughts were filled with fax noise beeps and whirls.

“Oh?” Dan asked simply smiling slyly.

Phil squinted his eyes at him and then rolled them punching Dan softly in the arm, “shut up don’t look at me like that!”

Dan’s smile deepened and he waggled his eyebrows jokingly, “like what?”

Phil’s cheeks were covered in a rosy blush and he hugged his knees up to his chest.

“I just...knew you would understand is all”

Dan’s brows furrowed in confusion his smile dimming to half the brightness as he thought over what Phil said. Phil could see the puzzlement on Dan’s face and he sighed exasperatedly.

“I think we are very similar in the way we deal with things so I knew you wouldn’t think I’m weird for wanting to hide from the world”

Dan swallowed slowly but nodded. He totally understood. The list of things he hid from was infinite with examples like his overly religious parents and his massive crush on-

“Phil”

Phil’s face twitched at the sound of his name. Dan had the words he wanted to say on his tongue ready to spill out when instead,

“What are you doing this summer?”

It wasn’t really what Dan was going to say but he didn’t have the balls. Even though he knew the reason for his giddiness was because of Phil’s dusty rose face. Phil’s face twisted in surprise obviously excepting something entirely different from Dan.

“Probably some family trip”

Dan smiled with a hint of envy, “lucky you, I’m stuck here all summer”

Dan picked at the grass peeking out from under the sleeping bag unaware of Phil’s observing eyes on the side of his face.

“Trust me I’d much rather be able to escape from ‘family bonding’ in Florida”

Dan sighed, “actually I get that I can’t imagine spending more than a week with my family”

Phil chuckled and picked up his almost empty Slurpee cup, “I’ll drink to that”

Phil held out the cup towards Dan and Dan clinked it with his half drank cup. They both grinned as they tilted the cold sugar-filled liquid into their mouths. After, Phil giggled starting slow but soon increasing in volume and speed. He casually leaned into Dan the shaking of his body vibrating against Dan's skin.

“You know this would be a lot less lame if we had actual alcohol” Phil commented, sighing out a final laugh.

Dan embraced the warmth spreading from Phil’s body to his. Phil’s hot breath wavered over his neck making his skin tingle from the sensation. Soon he was pulling away and Dan wiped the disappointment off of his face.

“Hey...” Phil’s eyes twinkled “you wanna see something else cool?”

Dan raised his eyebrows but found himself nodding before he could question him. It was probably due to the stupidly cute expression on Phil’s face. Phil grabbed his hand which made the fluttery feeling pulse through Dan again as he struggled to not rub his thumb against Phil’s smooth skin. Dan wasn’t even sure if Phil would notice with the determination present on his face. They had left the tent and Phil was pushing through trees again leaves smacking Dan in the face with each movement.

“Ok, but the question is how do I explain to my mom why I’m all scratched up when I get home?” Dan asked with slight irritation.

“Maybe she’ll just assume you’re into some kinky shit”

Dan gasped an instant blush flooding his face, Phil just smirked with that ever-present glisten in his eye.

“You know I thought you were so innocent at first” Dan stated “but now I find out you’re a sex-crazed animal”

Phil snorted and pushed Dan through another set of branches until he stumbled into an open plain much like the first time. Except this was void of a tent or really much of anything except trees and sand. There was a small cove that could only fit two people maximum and beyond that was a stream. Only going up to Dans Midwaist if he were to jump in. The water glistened in the sunlight and Dan fell into a trance.

“Wow”

Phil grinned with contentment at Dan's reaction, “I know right”

“This is-this is beautiful,” Dan remarked watching the reflection of clouds on the water's surface.

“I have tricks up my sleeve Howell,” Phil said.

Dan's mouth still gaped as he asked, “how the hell did you manage to find these places?”

Phil’s smile faltered as if it was a fast passing car returning to its original state in seconds, “determination and a lot of free time”  


* * *

 

Later after Dan had gotten home from Phil’s hideout he shucked off his jacket onto the pink satin chair next to the front door. Dan assumed that his parents wanted people to gather that they were rich from their fancy furniture when in reality the size and atmosphere of the house were enough to tell you they weren’t. Perhaps that’s where all the money went into silk pillowcases and Lazy-boy recliners.

“Dan is that you?” Dan's mother called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’m home!”

Shirley, Dan’s mother, had short bobbed brown hair and her face was framed with oval glasses that are most commonly seen on librarians. But her most noticeable feature was the large silver cross that hung from her neck over cotton sweaters. His mom's religion never bothered Dan until it directly affected him.

“Where were you?” His mother asked in a tone that yelled hidden suspicion.

Dan bit his lip contemplating telling a half-truth as to not get whipped with backlash. But he never was that good at lying.

“I was hanging with Phil”

The silence that followed wrapped around Dan's neck like a noose.

“Oh”

And with that one word the noose tightened. Dan sighed noisily, “is that a problem?”

He had learned how to deal with his parents bullshit soon after they found out he was gay. Apparently, he hadn’t been as inconspicuous about his internet history as he had hoped. That was a year ago. His parents usually leave him alone for the most part about it but they never fail to mention their Christian faith or their political stances. Which is to say the term ‘liberal nazis’ has actually been uttered during a dinner time conversation. Basically, his family was one American flag away from owning three guns and going hunting every weekend. But Dan didn’t care that his parents were republicans until they threw side comments about gay marriage or masculinity. When they had found out there was definite anger but the worst was the disappointment as if Dan was physically choosing to hurt his parents. Thankfully they didn’t kick him out...literally that is but Dan had this overwhelming feeling that he was still a stranger in his own home sometimes. Right between the Christmas Scrabble game and Uncle Charlie getting too drunk and complaining about the faggots of America. His parents would tell him that his uncle was old and didn’t know any better but was that to say that his parents knew better? That only laughing at gay jokes was deemed ok compared to joining in?

“Bus Phil?” His mother asked faking sincere curiosity.

“Yes mom that’s the only Phil I know” Dan called out with a twinge of annoyance wrapping around his words.

Finally, his mom came out of the kitchen with a tray of muffins on a silver baking tray. Her oven mitts had small spatulas on them and Dan remembered when he had gifted those to her last Christmas.

“Your new....friend?”

Dan sighed hastily, “what as opposed to my new boyfriend?”

And there it is. Her face twisted with defeat and quiet defiance.

“Don’t get snippy Dan I was only wondering who you were referring too” she scolded.

“No, you weren’t” Dan fought challenging her.

She furrowed her eyebrows, “excuse me, Daniel?”

Dan rolled his eyes, “nothing mom I’m just...gonna go do homework”

Dan picked up his book bag and raced away from his mother up the stairs. She crossed her arms sternly but didn’t refute his disappearance. His mom and he had a silent line of communication like that they both knew when they had nothing left to give.

As soon as Dan threw his bag aside and flopped onto his bed a ding erupted from his phone. He dug into his back pocket lazily and retrieved his iPhone seeing a message displayed across the front. It was from Phil. Dan smiled giddily despite himself and quickly read the message.

“Swimming tomorrow?”

Dan chewed his lip imagining Phil and him swimming in his secret spot all alone. It was already getting difficult to conceal his feelings for him even though he was trying his absolute hardest to wish them away. Having him, Chris and Pj as his friends were better than some short term relationship and he knew that really he did. He just...had to keep reminding himself every single damn time Phil smiled at him with his soft lips sinking inwards and his crooked canines.

Still, Dan couldn’t resist. So he sent back a quick text about meeting him at two and the plans were set. Dan caught himself smiling absentmindedly as he replayed the events of today and Phil calling himself his boyfriend when his ringtone began playing loudly in his ear. Louise's name popped up on the screen and Dan, knowing the wrath of Louise, answered it promptly.

"Hey" Dan greeted.

"Someone sounds happy are you still with Phil?"

Dan rolled his eyes, "Is that all you can think about?"

Louise chuckled, "Do you know how rare it is for Daniel Howell to actually be crazy about someone? You had every chance to laugh and tease about my past crushes it's my turn now"

"Whatever. And no, I'm in my room"

"Good" Louise responded.

Dan raised an eyebrow, "Good? What does that-"

His door suddenly swung open and Louise popped in smiling brightly. Dan clutched his chest his heart pounding vigorously.

"How the fuck?" Dan questioned.

"I let myself in you guys should really lock your front door" Louise suggested.

Dan sat up on his bed, "It's six-thirty usually crazy people wait until later to break in"

"Isn't the point of a crazy person to be unpredictable?" Louise smirked and raised her eyebrows.

Dan's eyes slanted, "Wow you got me there, pyscho"

Louise brushed him off and jumped on the bed next to him, "Anyway that's not important, tell me about today"

Dan groaned and rubbed his temples harshly, "Will you just quit?"

"Nope" Louise stated.

"He took me to a tiny field and we just chatted, seriously that's it"

This quirked Louise's attention.

"A tiny field? Like a secretive field away from civilization where you two were completely alone and no one could probably find you if you went missing mysteriously?"

Dan stared at her emotionlessly, "...yes?"

Louise shoved Dan roughly making him yelp, "Dan! Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"Ow! No! What's with the violence!?"

"Boys are so dull!" Louise complained "He took you to _his_ spot"

Louise searched Dan's face as if everything was going to click into place for him. Dan made a gesture for her to continue as he had absolutely no idea what she was trying to imply.

Louise groaned with annoyance and rolled her eyes, "Let me ask you this Dan, does he take anyone else he knows there?"

"No, he said it was his special getaway" Dan responded.

Louise's eyes widened into saucers and she began starting and ending various different sentences before clasping her hands together.

"You...you are going to make me have an aneurism Daniel James Howell!"

Dan stared at her in contemplation still not understanding what the big deal was. Yeah, Phil had never taken anyone up their before, hell he hadn't even taken his two best friends there but does that really mean anything? Sure...he had known Dan for like a week and a half at the most and _sure_ he specifically told Dan that he was the only one who truly...understood...him. Dan gasped and his mouth gaped open.

Louise jumped onto her knees and shook Dan's shoulders, "Finally he gets it!"

"You really think...?" Dan queried not wanting to get his hopes up.

"Oh, I _know_ Daniel! When are you hanging out again!?"

Dan's grin widened, "Tomorrow! We're going swimming"

Louise's gave a toothy smile, "Tighten those swim trunks boy, you might just be getting your first kiss tomorrow!"

Dan squeaked not caring if his masculinity was fading away as time went on. Maybe Phil did feel the same way at least Louise was forcing him to believe so.

"Ok I think this is getting a little too junior high sleepover for me" Louise commented.

"Oh really? Why stop now? Let's talk about your crush" Dan mentioned noticing how Louise instantly became squeamish.

"Crush? What-What are you talking about?"

Dan lifted his eyebrows incredulously at her and she glanced away under the direct attention.

"Don't think I didn't see you blatantly checking out Pj at the party dork" Dan poked her arm.

"I was not!" Louise defended two spots of red appearing on her cheeks.

"Louise, I've stopped bullshitting can you?" Dan commented.

Louise opened her mouth to spout another blatant lie but then decidedly closed it and started again, "Fine maybe...maybe I thought he was cute"

Dan rubbed her arm mockingly, "Now was that so hard?"

Louise pushed his hand off and crawled away from him, "Fuck off, no more talking about me"

Dan giggled glad he wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable sharing their feelings now.

"Get a movie ready asshole I'm sleeping over" Louise declared.

Dan didn't even try to argue with her he just grabbed his laptop from the floor and searched illegal pirating websites. His parents thought Dan would be badly influenced by Netflix or Hulu so this was his only option. Thankfully they weren't tech-savvy so they had no clue Dan had been watching the content they despised so greatly for years. Dan's heart still felt jittery after Louise clicked the final puzzle piece in. What if Phil did confess tomorrow? What would he even do? He was totally inexperienced in this department. Hoping for the best was the only thing he had left to hold on to.


	3. Chapter 3

It was almost three and Dan was vibrating with nerves. If Phil really was saying what Dan now believed how was he supposed to react? Obviously, he would say yes to being his boyfriend he didn’t know a single person who wouldn’t. Phil was wonderful. Smart, funny and honestly hot as fuck. Dan had packed his swim shorts in a black duffel bag along with sunscreen though he doubted he would need it since sunshine was as short and sweet as a lovers whisper this time a year. Dan glances at himself in the mirror once more checking to make sure his curls were perfect ringlets. There was this need to impress Phil settling in his stomach and it controlled his movements as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his shirt. Finally, Dan decided he looked presentable and ran down the stairs a giddy smile shadowing his face.

“What are you smiling about?” Dan's mother questioned a curious glint in her eye.

Dan's grin faltered at the sound of his mom's voice but not even his overzealous parents could turn down his attitude.

“Going out”

Her eyebrow quirked as her hands found their normal position on her hips, “And where would that be?”

“With Louise. At the park” Dan threw out hoping he sounded believable enough. He had practiced it in the shower over and over.

Dan laced his shoes up faster than ever before unable to await his hangout with his maybe soon to be boyfriend.

His mom’s eyes searched for different answers within his actions but finding no reason to question him she just nodded and wandered back into the kitchen.

* * *

“Hey Dimples” Phil smirked waving at him.

Dan rolled his eyes and hoped the tension in his shoulders wasn’t noticeable.

“You know my name is Dan dork”

“Yeah, but your dimples are showing it’s hard not to comment” Phil answered poking of them with his pointer finger.

Dan grabbed his finger and gently pulled it away, “Hands to yourself mister”

Phil threw his hands up in defence with a soft smile gracing his face. Phil began to undress slipping off his shoes fist followed by his shirt with no worry. This small feat didn’t go past Dan that easily though. Dan didn’t think he would ever get tired of seeing Phil’s shirtless torso scattered with freckles. Absentmindedly Dan stripped off his own shirt too distracted by Phil to realize that there was no change room for them to go into.

“Turn around,” Phil said making a twirling action with his finger.

Dan's eyebrows furrowed perplexingly until Phil’s eyes flickered to his jeans and up at Dan again. Without knowing why a light blush rose onto Dan's face. Perhaps it was the prospect that Phil would be fully naked behind him and if he just turned around he’d be able to see everything. The thought was giving him nervous energy as he slowly turned without replying. The sound of fabric being torn off was too much to handle and Dan reached into his own duffel bag so he could change instead of having an overly acute hearing of his friend. His hand grabbed the black and green striped bathing bottoms he had since eighth grade and pulled them up over his skinny hips. The fact they still fit was embarrassing but overall useful in terms of saving money. Though being generous to himself they were a bit snugger in the crotch area than in previous years.

“Ok, Danny time to go swimming” Phil exclaimed in a somewhat creepy distorted voice.

Dan rotated swiftly only to see Phil running into the secret lake making water fly everywhere.

“Jesus Phil” Dan laughed, running in after him.

The water sent a chill all over him as soon as he was submerged sending shock waves up his spine. But mostly as he stumbled over rocks and dirt tripping headfirst into the lake he felt the water rush up his nostrils sending him into an almost instant drowning panic. Phil’s hectic laughter didn’t help either.

“Shut up!” Dan spluttered water spewing from his mouth.

“I thought you would be a little more elegant not gonna lie” Phil snickered and splashed a wave at Dan.

“Well, you should lower your expectations!” Dan shouted over the wave of water currently hitting him in the face.

Suddenly Phil waded through the water quicker than should be humanly possible and tackled Dan into the freezing water sending a shiver up his spine.

“Maybe you should raise yours!” Phil shouted over the onslaught of cold water entering his mouth.

Dan breached the water like a drunk dolphin attempting to free himself from Phil’s hold by flicking his feet back and forth. He tried to ignore the heatwave that passed over him as he felt Phil’s chest pressed to his and focus on the gross algae infested water he was now covered in. Finally, Phil released Dan so that he was lying on the rocky bottom with his elbows holding him up so only his face was emerged. He rubbed the water out of his eyes and was met with Phil smirking down at Dan with triumph and Dan frowned though he couldn’t help but notice the crinkles creeping outwards from the corners of Phil’s eyes. Those icy orbs reflected the water waves swirling around in his pupils filling Dan with tranquillity. Fuck he was cute.

Dan never understood how encompassing a crush could feel. Sure he would glance at the dumb clickbait articles in Seventeen magazines or scroll through ‘How to Know If He Likes You!’ quizzes on Tumblr (mostly marketed towards girls anyhow) and rolled his eyes at how they presented "love". But seeing Phil with water droplets rolling down his milky white cheeks and the cute blush of exertion covering his neck made Dan get lightheaded just like those dumb articles would say. And all he could think about was how this guy could possibly be his boyfriend in the next hour or two, or at least they might have a date set up. It was scary and intimidating, literally made his hands numb if he thought about it too hard.

“God this is so much fun” Phil breathed out heavily taking a break from roughhousing with Dan to sink into the murky water, “It’s been such a shitty week”

Instantly concern replaced adoration in Dan’s chest and he let his butt relax onto the cool smooth rocks.

“Why?”

Phil didn’t look at him. Just stared into the endless azure sky and for a moment his eyes appeared glassy almost like he was about to cry but his voice didn’t replicate those feelings.

“Well...my parents are at my throat again about college applications” He confessed bobbing up and down calmly.

Dan sighed and nodded his head in a quick agreement, “Trust me I know the feeling, my parents want me to go to a catholic college”

Phil quirked an eyebrow a subtle smirk forming on his face, “And that doesn’t interest you?”

His tone was full of sarcasm and Dan released a quick splash in his direction to shut him up. Phil blocked it and snickered quietly.

“No _Phil_ I’d rather not go to a school that reminds me of my home. I basically had to beg my parents to let me go to a public high school”

Shit, maybe that was too much information. A hurried glance over to Phil told him it was the opposite. Phil didn’t seem fazed by Dan’s lack of appreciation for his parents, unlike Louise who constantly reprimanded him on his imaginative names he would call them. He let his gaze drift back up to the sky and nodded minutely as if he was lost for the proper words to say what he needed too.

“It’s not just that though” Phil continued combing through his wet strands to rid some of the excess water, “It’s like everybody at school is on my back too. _‘Phil join Yearbook Committee’ ‘Scholarships are just around the corner’ ‘I heard Student Council looks great on a resume!_ ’”

Phil lowered his back into the water and kicked out his feet so he was lying starfish now still peering up at the sky like he was questioning God instead of Dan for his classmates and teachers nagging.

“I mean it’s just so tiring I know they all want to help me but…” Phil sighed, “It’s a bit much you know?”

Dan bit his lip letting his eyes drop to the water below watching his wavering reflection, how his eyes drooped with exhaustion at the prospect of school. He had no clue what to study, not like Phil did. There was no writing career in his future.

Dan crawled across the bottom to Phil and then spread out backwards just like him so they were lying beside each other now.

“I get it. Everybody thinks that nothing else is important in our future except for more schooling”

Phil laughed, “Yeah sounds about right”

Dan turned his head ignoring the strange sensation of water bubbling in his ear. His eyes locked on the side of Phil’s face watching the movement of his throat as he swallowed. Phil's lips were pursed and his eyes were shut letting Dan get away with the infatuated smile playing on his lips. The wind pushed Phil's hair in all different directions twisting each strand around till they fell back to his forehead. All Dan could think about was leaning over and kissing his cheek, he wanted to feel that soft unmarked skin on his lips. Mouth odes against it that Dan recalled from one of his numerous Shakespeare productions for no damn reason. His laugh still resonated in his head, strong and gruff making Dan flush. He just wanted Phil to say it now, tell him that they fit so well. He would go to a damn sports game for him, anything he wanted just to have this view. It wasn’t shallow though, unlike the way he spoke or the water they were lying in. It was deeper than that a connection that reached the depths of the ocean.

Then Phil’s face crumbled, cracked like a porcelain sculpture. His appearance dropped elevations. Brows furrowed reaching towards each other like long-distance lovers, hands reaching out to touch. Dan didn’t like Phil’s face this way, Dan wanted to be greeted by Phil’s smile lines that on this expression seemed like a long lost friend buried beneath years of memories.

“And it’s not just that” Phil sighed heavily, his eyes flicking open and displaying a T.V screen without connection; completely static.

“My girlfriend, Charlie is being such a major bitch these days”

Dan could feel his stomach relocate to the tips of his toes. His tanned skin paled and he didn’t feel much different than an iceberg floating atop the water, cold and solid. Impenetrable. Of course, he had a girlfriend. Of course, he was straight, how could Dan just assume he was gay? Wasn’t that like reverse homophobia or is there even such a thing? Could he be 'straight-phobic'?

No matter because damn him. Damn him for being straight and pretty and strictly fucking chicks. Damn,damn...shit. How could Dan be so blind? Phil liked having someone listen to his future rants, not the way Dan’s eyes lit up at his smile, he liked sports not the way Dan misused sports terms which would always elicit a laugh. He didn’t like Dan, he liked being friends with Dan. No Jem, no Dill just stupid Dan and clueless Phil.

“Dan?” Phil’s voice broke him from his current mental breakdown.

“Huh?” Dan dumbly mumbled his mind as muddy as the water below.

He wanted the waves to sweep him away, sink him until he reached the bottom of the ocean. He felt like a piece of garbage so he might as well be treated like one.

“I was just saying my girlfriend wants me to go to the same college as her even though the writing program is shit”

No, no. Dan couldn’t listen to Phil say the word girlfriend. It made his heart twitch unpleasantly, his brain go fuzzy with denial. He was filled with guilty betrayal and half-hearted acceptance. Really, he wanted this to be a prank. Phil knew Dan liked him so he was just messing with him and was about to tell Dan that he really, really liked him. Cause Louise wouldn’t lie to him, wouldn’t set up just to shatter his self-confidence. So where was the shouting of “surprise!”, the fake confetti that would come down from the sky above like they were on an award show and Dan was about to receive a cheque.

The answer is...nowhere. The marching band was cancelled, the confetti was drenched with water and the only thing looking down at him was God mocking him for being gay, spewing hateful words of punishment. And this was just...a crush. It wasn’t supposed to be world-ending. It was supposed to be a secret infatuation and really it still was. No harm, no foul. Phil was straight, had a girlfriend and was giving him a really concerned side-eye right now.

“Dan! Seriously what’s up with you?”

“N-Nothing” Dan stuttered not even bothering to be pissed at himself for being high key suspicious.

“I just remembered that my mom wanted me home soon so I really should probably get going”

“What? We’ve only been here an hour or so” Phil answered confusion lacing his words.

“That’s my mom” Dan let out a brittle laugh.

He wandered shakily out of the comfortably warm water and felt the cold breeze hit him instantly making him conceal a shiver. He couldn’t even glance back at Phil, tell him how he was sorry about acting like the typical ‘nice guy’ asshole in movies who leaves their crush hanging when he finds out she likes someone else. But he couldn’t stick around to hear Phil’s stories about Charlie because then she’d be real. And everything he had been building up would be dastardly fake. Uncomfortably Dan slipped his jeans over his swim shorts and tugged on his cotton shirt thankful for the onslaught of warmth.

“Dan just-wait a minute!” Phil called out, standing up and paddling through the water slowly.

“Phil I have to go ok?” Dan responded rageful impatience coming out gritty and quiet.

Phil stilled, obvious hurt coating his face but Dan didn’t have it in himself to care about Phil’s feelings right now when Dan’s were buried beneath the sand in the lake. Without caution, Dan pushed through the bushes that led to this secret spot once full of promise now soiled by his straight friend.

Dan guffawed at the cliche gay guy who got the wrong idea from his straight best friend in the movies. _‘All the signs were there!’ he'd laugh, ‘how could he not see it?’_.

How could he not see it indeed.

* * *

 

When Dan had pushed in through his front door chips of paint falling like snowflakes when he shut it his mother was worried. Creased frown lines and wide eyes greeted him and for a second Dan believed his mother might run to him, hug him. But that wasn’t their type of family now, was it?

“Daniel, what is going on?” There was a fake crispness of concern coating her words.

She didn’t care what was going on she cared that Dan was ten minutes past the time he told her he'd be home. Rules were more important to her, always had been.

Dan couldn’t respond his throat was clogged with disappointment and he could barely swallow around the basketball in his throat. So he ran upstairs ignoring his mother’s calls up to him and stomped right into his room. Anger running rampant in his chest. How could he have been so naive? Even if Phil had been gay he never would have liked Dan. Phil was sporty and intelligent and his hair curled perfectly above his-

Ok, Dan needed to stop torturing himself it was never going to happen. He hopped into the shower his hopes swirling down the drain with the water. He wasn’t going to cry because it was simply pathetic. He wasn’t a young boy anymore stuck in the endless scene of straight relationships. He stepped out of the shower lazily wrapping a towel around his waist. Hazy memories appeared in the condensation of the mirror and the image of a limestone school came into existence.  
Grade three, Sandy Timmers his first crush. His scruffy hair reminded Dan of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and his green eyes sparkled like the sun reflecting on the water. He was the first boy Dan liked...and the first boy who threw him into the dirt and called him a fag.

Thomas Anderson, grade six. Dan would watch his soccer games not taking his eyes off the tight-fitting shirt sticking to his chest with sweat. The way his dimples popped out when Dan complimented his skills. One day Dan apparently stared at Thomas's lips for a second to long raised suspicion and the next day Dan walked into school with a black eye and a backpack full of repression.

And now, Phil. It had been years since Dan had allowed himself to feel so strongly about one person. And Phil knew he was gay and he didn’t CARE. Didn’t cover his chest when they were swimming, inch away so their thighs weren’t touching on the bus. He was different. And so Dan let himself fall under the illusion that maybe Phil was just like him. Lost and deterred by living, told his entire life that he was special and not in a good way. But that wasn’t this story. Phil had a girlfriend. Possibly a blonde haired blue eyed curvy girlfriend with a smile that sent a shiver up his spine. The exact feeling Dan gets when Phil smiles.

Abruptly his bathroom door was being pushed open and before he could scream either in fear or anger a short blonde girl was standing in the doorway. Louise, alternatively known as the devil.

“Get out!” Dan shrieked clutching his towel tighter.

“I needed to know what happened I came right over!” Her smile was beaming.

Dan's eyes slanted. Louise's smile fizzled away.

“Ok not good then”

“I’d say so” Dan sarcastically replied scurrying past Louise in search of clothes.

“What happened?” Louise inquired empathy present in her voice.

“What happened?” Dan huffed a laugh, “What happened is I listened to my idiot best friend who gave me the entirely wrong impression”

“Oh god the vein is popping out in your neck this must be bad”

Dan opened his closet forcefully and grabbed the first pair of sweatpants he saw along with a pair of black boxers and a burgundy sweater. When he turned around Louise was staring at him curiously clearly trying to determine what happened by Dan's body language.

“Could you maybe..?” Dan made a twirling motion with his finger.

“Not until you tell me what the hell went wrong. What impression did I give you?”

“Oh, I don’t know Louise” Dan mockingly tapped his finger against in his chin, “Maybe the fact you told me he obviously was into me when it turns out he is in fact not!”

“What?” Louise's expression screamed disbelief. “That is not possible, he was giving off such clear signs”

Unimpressed Dan furrowed his eyebrows, “What was he talking in a flamboyant high pitched voice and chatting about vogue articles with you? Is that how you absolutely knew?”

“Dan I didn’t assume anything. He literally took you to a place he never takes anyone else. Sounds like a hookup spot to me”

“Yeah it probably is, for him and his _girlfriend_ ”

Louise gasped her hands flying to her mouth, “Girlfriend!? Oh shit”

“Wasn’t apart of the plan now was it?” Dan spit out deliberately, “Now please Louise turn the fuck around”

The wide-eyed Louise slowly twisted her torso still in complete shock. Dan stripped off his towel and rapidly pulled his boxers up just in case Louise was gonna randomly turn around again. Then he took his time stepping into his cozy sweatpants and pulling his long sweater over his head.

“Here’s what I don’t get” Louise finally said breaking the silence. “The way he was looking at you. It was like he was looking at something completely new to him”

“Louise just stop” Dan replied sitting down on his bed.

“No really Dan” Louise continued moving to sit next to him, “It was like you were a forest fire and...he could only hope to be caught in your flames”

Dan snorted, “Poetic Louise”

Louise frowned and crossed her arms stiffly. Dan sighed and let his body fall to the mattress below. Dan might be a fire but that’s only because he destroys everything he touches. That’s why he knew that from this moment on had to get as far from Phil as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

With a solemn yet persistent attitude, Dan had been taking the earlier bus every day after school. Did that mean he would show up a second almost too late with sweat curled hair and laboured breath every fucking day? Sure. But that's how Dan knew he was in deep with Phil. Because he’d rather run for his life every day then have to speak a single word to him. 

Don’t get him wrong Dan did not hate Phil, it was actually quite the opposite. It was the ‘want-to-rip-my-hair-out’ embarrassment Dan was suffering from. Not to mention the fact that any attempt at interacting with Phil would probably end up with him confessing his completely gay feelings only ruining his friendship with him. Then again was there even a friendship to ruin anymore? Dan hadn’t seen Phil since the swimming incident and every time Louise tried to bring him up to convince Dan to ‘calm the fuck down’ (her words) and just talk to him about it.

Well, Dan was for sure not gonna do that bullshit. Instead, he was going to get some _fantastic_ physical activity as he runs to the bus. Until Phil decided to fuck it all up. Again. Dan was simply minding his business a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead as he panted heavily flashing his bus pass to the bus driver and flopping into the nearest seat.

“Oh hi”

Dan's skin practically bounced off him like a yo-yo as Phil slid right next to him. His breath caught in his throat as he felt the tension fill up the bus.

“It’s been awhile” Phil commented giving a slight chuckle awkwardly.

“Oh um...yeah” Dan responded still trying to catch his breath from running and being jump scared.

Dan still hadn’t looked over at him persistently staring forward hoping that Phil would disappear from the face of the earth. His heart was racing and his palms were becoming sweaty with nerves. He couldn’t do this. He was never supposed to see Phil again.

“So can we-“ 

“Actually!” Dan exclaimed jumping up with extreme enthusiasm, “This is my stop so I’m gonna go bye!”

“Wait-Dan!” Phil called out but Dan was already jumping out of his seat and hitting the button. The bus driver begrudgingly squealed the bus to a halt as Dan bounced his leg impatiently in front of the door.

The moment it opened he was out in the blazing heat again and made absolutely certain to not turn around because if for some stupid reason Phil decided to run out after him he didn't want anything to do with it. Thankfully after hearing the squeak of the bus pull away, there was no sign of Phil joining him. Dan felt a pang of something hit his chest but he summed it up to the gross amount of cardio he had been doing. 

Now he knew what Louise would say if she was here.

" _What the fuck is wrong with you Daniel?_ "

And maybe there was something completely and utterly wrong with him. In actual fact, he knew for sure there was. It was called 'falling for a straight boy' syndrome and he wasn't getting over it anytime soon. So maybe everyone should just leave him alone to be a piece of shit.

Dan pulled out his phone only to gather from his bus app that a number 7 bus wouldn't be coming for another 20 minutes. Great. Karma was a bigger bitch then he was.

* * *

Apparently by the third week of Dan ignoring Phil the 'always in my shit' plague had spread from Louise to not only Chris but P.J as well. Text over text questioning Dan on his sudden disappearance from everyone's lives. Was he dead? Sick? Travelling the country? Dan had to physically stop himself from cracking his phone on the hard pavement below him. 

Couldn't a guy disappear off the face of the earth without a second glance? Jesus. Phil wasn't some lost little puppy he had to look after, he was almost 18 and probably had a copious amount of friends to fall back on, not to mention _Charlie_. His _girlfriend_. Maybe she was negligent and didn't fulfill Phil. He would never do that to him if only Phil was dating HIM instead. But...he wasn't. And Dan had to fucking remember that. Perhaps Charlie was the kindest, sweetest girl in the world who smelt like cinnamon and always wore bubblegum pink lipgloss. Who wouldn't fall for that? This is exactly what he relayed to Louise one day after school.

"Dan he said he was unhappy or are you just blocking out that portion of the conversation so you can continue to feel sorry for yourself?" Louise chided.

Dan rolled his eyes, "One bad moment in a relationship doesn't mean he's going to dump her Louise and even if he did it's not gonna change his sexuality"

Louise smacked him, "Daniel Howell! You are being extremely close-minded here! He could be bisexual, pansexual, fluid or all of the above—"

"Actually I don't think you can be all—"

"—So maybe you should stop being a little bitch and go talk to him!"

Dan huffed out an annoyed puff of air and sunk down further into his mattress. Louise's features softened a little as she inspected the obvious conflict running rampant in her best friend's head.

"Seriously Dan...he seems kinda miserable without you"

Dan's head perked up, interest present in his eyes.

Louise chuckled and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Chris is having a party tomorrow, Phil is presumably going to be there, come with me"

The concept flip-flopped in Dan's head. Even after weeks, he hadn't determined whether his ignoring was going to remain permanent or not. He couldn't imagine a time in the future where he wasn't feeling this way towards Phil and that wouldn't make him the greatest friend if he was constantly pining after him. Still, no Phil in his life? Sounded pretty damn sad.

Dan sighed exaggeratedly as he was prone to do, "Alright I'll come but I'm not promising anything" 

Louise rolled her eyes, "After that little stunt you played on the bus I wouldn't expect anything else"

* * *

Whereas Phil's party had been a few close friends hanging out and playing videogames Chris's was the exact opposite. Dan could spot the house's lights and blaring music from a mile away, not to mention the steady stream of teenagers laughing their way up to his front porch. Now when Dan thought of privileged rich parties this is entirely what he expected. The differences between both boy's houses were indistinguishable except that Chris's was pretty much completely white. Felt almost...presidental. 

"Wow," Louise said breathlessly, the reflection of lights bouncing in her wonder-filled eyes.

"How many Gucci bags can you spot?" Dan snorted.

"Enough to use as a small floatation device after a shipwreck" Louise answered, a smirk playing at her lips.

Dan missed this banter between them usually their conversations centred around Phil and Dan's hopeless pining or Louise and her complete denial of her own crush. Wow, they were pathetic.

"Do you think we're underdressed?" Dan questioned examining his regular black t-shirt and fitted skinny jeans.

Louise took a moment to look at her own pink blouse and beige skirt, "Nah if anything we'll just look like rich kids who find clothing that the middle-class underpaid youth of today wear _trendy_ "

Dan smiled cheekily, "Perfect"

Finally, they jumped out of Louise's car and strode up to Chris's front door that had two boys making out on a chaise lounge beside it.

"Glad to know rich parties are just as sloppy as poor ones" Louise whispered in Dan's ear making him choke on a laugh.

Louise stepped through the door first trying to hide her astonishment of the beautiful house's interior decorating when suddenly Chris was in front of her.

"Louise!" Chris exclaimed happily, noticing Dan a second later as he stepped into the palace, "Oh! And...Dan! I wasn't expecting you mate, where have you been?"

This was what worried Dan, all of the questions. Thankfully Dan thought of a pre-programmed answer ahead of time.

"Sorry! My phone fell out of pocket and ended up breaking so I lost connection for a little while there"

"I'll say! Well, come on in! All the cool people are in the basement" Chris replied surprisingly not pushing further on the subject.

Dan and Louise nodded and began wading their way through the huge living room. It was as if Dan had been told to draw what he imagined a crazy rich house party looked like. Teenagers in nice dresses and dress shirts with combed-back hair and perfected makeup either dancing together or making out. It was a little insane how preset the entire thing looked. It was as if they were all wind up toys that did the same thing over and over after pulling a string. 

"Excuse me! Excuuuuuse me!" Chris called out over everyone.

It was hard to imagine being unfazed by this culture but of course, Chris would be, he lived here. He woke up and probably rolled out of bed into designer clothing, just because he takes the public bus doesn't mean he is the same as Dan. Louise's eye caught on the huge chandelier hanging above the chattering guests playing beer pong a game that seemed way too average for this type of crowd. Eventually, they made it to a door that had softer music seeping out from underneath it like smoke. Chris opened it and let Louise and Dan step around him to venture down the mahogany stairs, it's reddish-brown tint glistening in the faint mood lighting.

"Chris this house is absolutely stunning" Louise commented tracing her manicured finger down the railing.

Chris noticed this and chuckled a little forcedly, "Oh you like this huh? Indian Mahagony from Australia, my family certainly paid a pretty penny for this" 

Weirdly it didn't feel like bragging. It was almost a little to unperturbed like Chris was reciting lines from a script. Dan couldn't really focus on the delivery though as he took in the wide expanse of Chris's basement fit with a pool table, air-hockey table and widescreen T.V.

"Insane" Dan muttered having fallen into a trance.

And that's when he saw a quick flash of raven hair and his fingers twitched disconcertingly. He let himself have one quick look if only that for the entire night and it almost took away every ounce of air in his body. Phil was wearing a blue button-down with the top buttons open and the sleeves rolled up to his forearms alongside a pair of sinful black jeans and worn brown boots. Jesus fucking—

"Dan?" Chris questioned nudging him a bit, "The line needs to keep moving"

Dan swallowed and adjusted the collar of his shirt suddenly feeling the air was a bit too scalding in this basement. Phil had no right to look like THAT when Dan was contemplating getting over his feelings for him and moving on as friends.

"I'm going to go get a drink" Dan exclaimed over the chatter, Louise gave a simple nod and followed Chris over to where a couch and two chairs were. 

Still reeling after the onslaught of feelings Dan had been burying for weeks coming back up he stumbled over to the surprisingly normal and cheap snacks laid out. He stuffed a few Doritos into his mouth and poured himself a generous helping of bourbon into his solo cup. Some backsplash ended up spraying his shirt creating small wet stains that were sinking into the fabric.

"Shit" Dan mumbled wiping at it lightly.

"One of those days?" 

A low voice broke Dan out of his deprecating thoughts as a napkin was being offered in front of his face. Dan grabbed the napkin and hoping to put a face to this helpful stranger, turned only to see a taller boy with wavy blonde hair and a charming smirk.

"More like one of those lives" Dan joked hoping it didn't sound too dark as his humour usually did.

A deep chuckle emerged from his perfectly pink lips as he pushed a stray piece of hair away from his forehead, "Oh I'm sure that's not true"

Dan raised an eyebrow feeling oddly comfortable and confident with this stranger, "Yeah? And how can you be so sure?"

The boy's smirk never fell from his face as he reached over to grab a can of Coors Light from the table and pop open the tab.

"You're too cute to be sworn to a life of misery" He quipped a twinkle of curiosity making his dark chocolate eyes even more inticing.

Dan paused from dabbing his shirt and blushed never having been flirted with so forwardly before and especially not by a boy at a rich social party. 

"Is that so?" A matching twinkle developed in Dan's eye feeling giddy, nervous energy bloom in his chest, "Is there a name I can put to the kind words?"

Cute mystery man let his head drop to the ground chuckling, a light rosy blush flushing his face, "Jesse"

Dan grinned chucking the napkin into a nearby garbage can and picking up his drink, "Dan"

"What school do you go too?" Jessie inquired taking a slow sip from his own drink, "I know it can't be mine as I'm damn sure I would have noticed that adorable smile before"

Said smile embraced Dan's face like an old friend as he let out a shy giggle. Jesse was movie star attractive and he was actually flirting with Dan Howell. Jesus the world must be upside down.

"I actually go too—"

"Jesse!" A voice broke off Dan's thought. A voice Dan knew all too well.

Jesse peered over his shoulder not bothering to turn fully around.

"Oh, Phil! Are you enjoying the party?" Jesse asked kindly though Dan could sense a sliver of apprehension in his tone.

"Yeah I am" Phil answered, "Just surprised to see Jesse Toner at such a low scale party"

Dan's eyes flickered around to the numerous amount of people dancing and drinking around expensive antiques. This was considered low scale? Wow, Dan was so out of his element. 

"Well," Jesse smirked doing a quick scan of Dan's face, "Turns out low-scale might be where all the fun is at"

A scarlet blush travelled up Dan's neck and he suddenly felt dizzy just from the simple glance of appreciation. 

"Right" Phil agreed fake sincerity pouring out in his tone.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence that left Dan pacing in his spot and inspecting his drink carefully. Until finally Jesse clapped Phil on the back, who visibly tensed, and turned back to Dan holding out a piece of paper. Dan's heart swelled in his chest as he grazed Jesse's thumb taking the paper.

"Hoping I see you again, dimples" Jesse winked, biting his lip confidently and wandering back into the crowd of people.

He heard a sharp intake of breath from beside him but hardly noticed over the hammering sound of his own heart in his ears.

"Right! Y-You too" Dan exclaimed a minute too late.

He didn't even notice the side-way glance Phil was giving him packed with disagreement and distrust.

"Surprised to see you here too" Phil commented picking up a Dorito and popping it into his mouth.

Falling out of his fantasies of Jesse Dan recalled that he was supposed to be ignoring the exact person who was speaking to him currently. His awkwardness blossomed once again taking root in his legs and stemming up to his brain.

"R-Right"

Ok, apparently that was all Dan's mouth had to say.

Phil sighed, "Really Dan can we just talk? Please?"

"We are" Dan answered.

Phil rolled his eyes and stuck his hands into his form-fitted jeans that still made Dan feel things he really wasn't supposed too.

"So I see you met Jesse?" Bitterness seeped into the words.

"Yeah" Dan replied dumbly, "How do you know him?"

Phil laughed though there was a certain lack of humour in it, "Our families are friends besides that I see him every day at Western"

"Cool"

It was taking all of Dan's control to keep his eyes away from Phil, knowing that one simple gaze at the spaces where his buttons weren't done up might lead to some horribly not platonic thoughts on his part. Though he wasn't so detached from reality that he couldn't tell Phil did not like Jesse and was perhaps biting his tongue about the real connection he had with him.

"Dan if you could just tell me what I did...please?" Phil's voice was quiet and small like a child's and Dan wondered when he let himself become such an asshole.

"Phil it has nothing—"

"Ok, everybody! I think it's time for a certain childhood game to spice things up a bit!" Chris announced clapping his hands together, "Anyone who wants to join come over here!"

Seeing his escape Dan muttered a quick 'got to go' to Phil and practically forced his way through the crowd to avoid facing Phil about his feelings. Besides a game might be just the thing to calm his nerves that had heightened in the last hour. When he made it to the couch he saw a small circle of teenagers most of them looking posh and prim with the exception of Louise and even Chris who Dan just noticed was wearing a Metallica t-shirt.

He took a seat next to Louise grateful for familiarity after his brush with Phil. She gave him a little nudge prompting him to look at her face which was offering comfort through a concerned little smile. Dan smiled back at her and nodded that he was ok which made Louise's features drift back into normal. 

"Ok boys and girls it's time for a generational tradition!" Chris declared, "Spin the bottle!"

A rush of fear and anxiety ran through Dan yet he couldn't help but also feel a twinge of excitement at the prospect of kissing these hot, wealthy Abercrombie and Fitch model types. He was still a teenager after all and his lack of experience drove his desires forward as Chris asked if anyone wanted to leave the circle now that they knew what was happening. Dan was going to stay.

"Alrighty then!" Chris grinned mischievously, "Let's get this party started"

He placed an empty beer bottle on the floor and took the first spin as host. The bottle spun like a compass needle finally landing on its magnetic match which happened to be a short dark-skinned girl with stunning emerald eyes. Dan soon found from the cooing and teasing of her friends that her name was Annabelle.

"Pucker up Chris" Annabelle smirked and crawled into the circle landing in the middle on her knees.

A lazy smug smile appeared on Chris's face as he joined Annabelle in the middle and took ahold of her chin gently. Her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned in and their lips touched softly. Chris nibbled at her bottom lip tenderly and Annabelle sighed quietly letting Chris deepen the kiss. Louise and Dan were watching in awe as all of the parties they had gone to everybody would give a small peck and then scurry back to their friends afterwards but apparently, with rich kids, everything is a show. 

"Ok, we get it sluts! That's enough!" One of Annabelle's friends called out between laughs towards them.

They parted both chuckling respectively with Annabelle winking saucily before moving back to rejoin her friends. Chris raised his eyebrows and huffed out a laugh of contentment as he ran his tongue over his slightly red lips. Louise and Dan made eye contact and all of their worries soon became apparent to each other.

"This might have been a mistake" Louise whispered in his ear.

"A big one" Dan replied watching the next pairing move into the middle and give a similar performance to the one they just saw. 

Thankfully the bottle had never once landed on them even as half the circle had been kissed now. Dan had been carefully watching the bottle every single time it spun not even paying attention to the person spinning. He knew that eventually, his luck was going to give up and it was sooner than expected.

"Well, this is..." Chris trailed off hesitation embracing his voice. 

Dan took a deep breath and then looked up expecting it to be an attractive unknown stranger but of fucking course, it wouldn't be. Phil's face was just as shocked as he and Dan wondered when he even managed to slink into the circle without Dan observing. Tremours passed through Dan's body as Phil wordlessly moved into the middle and waited expectantly. Phil with his exposed collarbones and pushed back hair looking like some damn thing personally selected from Dan's wet dreams. Besides this was awkward for a plethora of reasons. Phil was supposed to be just his friend at this point even though Dan was horrendously attracted to him and Phil assumed Dan was mad at him which was stirring up some unease between them currently.

Dan felt his body move into the circle before his mind caught up with his actions and he stared into Phil's misty eyes holding so many questions. Dan's breathing was faltering as he settled back on his knees preparing himself for his fatal end. Phil looked so damn perfect and all of those feelings hit Dan tenfold from Phil's party when he gave him a lapdance and then they shared a bed and all Dan wanted to do was kiss those funny and kind lips. Those lips that talked way to fucking much about sports yet never became boring to watch. The lips that held so many empty promises. Could Dan really let himself get one taste openly knowing that it would be the last time? Maybe that was insensitive of him but hadn't he been insensitive this entire damn time? And so that was his last thought as he jumped up and walked out of the circle keeping his eyeline straight and doing what he was best at, ignoring the boos and calls from the circle.

He knew he couldn't do this. And he was never going to be able to be friends with Phil if they kissed. Not now, not when Dan wanted to continue kissing him until the end of time. Maybe this was a sign from God himself that kissing that boy was only going to mess him up and fuck his life up further. So stupid of him thinking that they could only be friends.

The closest room happened to be the bathroom which Dan delightedly rushed into and locked the door. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans and nibbled at his lip anxiously. Everything was so fucked. A knocking on the door made him jump out of his skin and for a multitude of reasons he didn't open it right away.

"Dan it's me!" Louise exclaimed pounding harder on the door and twisting the doorknob feverishly.

Somehow that didn't comfort Dan as much as it probably should have. Still, he wasn't getting out of here with Louise so better to have her with him than be alone. Quickly he unlocked the door and Louise pushed her way in, closing the door and locking it behind her. 

"This was such a bad idea" Dan exclaimed rushedly, "I never should have come"

Dan expected many things to come out of Louise's mouth but what she did say was weirdly enough not on the list.

Louise stared him down, shaking her head slowly frustration creeping into her features, "You are so selfish you know that?"

Dan's heart stuttered as he met her disappointed gaze. His face flushed with embarrassment and anger. What did she know about his life and how hard this was for him? Why was he not allowed to be selfish this one time?

"So? So what?"

Louise laughed humourlessly, "Seriously? Dan, you just fucking left him in that circle just like you left him on the bus. You don't give a single shit about that poor boy's feelings do you?"

"What am I supposed to do Louise? Let myself get led on?"

"No Dan! You are supposed to not be a complete and utter asshole to a guy who did absolutely nothing to you!" Louise screamed, her eyes flashing with vexation. 

She grabbed his shoulder harshly, "So he has a girlfriend, get the fuck over it! Stop making this entire thing about yourself!"

"How am I supposed to be around him, Louise!? Tell me that! Am I supposed to pretend that every second I don't want to kiss that stupid smirk off his face? Why can't he just...just...like me" His words became smothered by sobs and tears welled in the corners of his eyes as he sat down on the tub.

Dan felt himself shaking whether from sadness or anger at being called out he wasn't sure. He _was_ being an asshole and he knew that. Phil didn't do a damn thing and he was acting as if he ran over his puppy. Louise sighed softly and took a seat beside Dan touching his arm gently and held on even after Dan recoiled.

"Isn't it better to at least be his friend? Even if it hurts so goddamn bad every day. I can promise you, having him in your life is never going to ruin you as much as not having him will."

Dan sniffled and swallowed grimly. She was right. She usually was honestly. Phil was one of the nicest friends he had since forever and he was letting it slip through the cracks because he couldn't keep his gay in check. How was that fair? He was pitying himself instead of realizing how this must all look too innocent, kind Phil. He was too busy trying to control every damn thing to realize how unhappy he was making everyone around him.

"Oh god" Dan choked out wiping away a stray tear, "I'm acting like my mom aren't I?"

Louise huffed out a soft laugh, "I didn't want to be the one to say it but..."

Dan took a deep breath trying to regulate the sudden surge of emotions purging his body. It was silent for a moment as Louise allowed Dan to regain his balance. 

"You don't get to control all of his feelings Dan but you do get to control how he feels about you and currently you are not in his good books."

"I didn't mean to..." Dan trailed off.

Louise rested her head on his shoulder, "I know. I know."

"But there's still time Dan, there's always going to be time"

Dan wrapped his arm around her, grateful he had a friend to call him out on his bullshit. Phil's not interested in him romantically. Ok...ok. He could deal with that, eventually, it wouldn't sting so much. Eventually, he'll be able to wrap around Phil like this and feel absolutely nothing and he'll be so fucking happy he didn't let go of Phil when he had the chance too. Louise was right. There _was_ always time. Time to make things right at least.

"Where is he, Louise?" 

Out of his peripherals, Dan saw a faint smile develop on her face, "He stormed upstairs, told Chris he was going to call an Uber"

Time. There's still time. 

"Go Dan" Louise gave him a gentle shove to the back, "Go kiss and makeup"

Dan furrowed his brows at her. She giggled.

"Too soon?"

Dan scoffed but there was no anger left there just resolution. He had to go find Phil.

Hurriedly he struggled to open the door as he forgot it was locked but when he was past his first obstacle he found his way racing up the expensive stairs and throwing himself into the crowd of people. Still, Dan kept his head up not letting himself get discouraged, taking the easy way was over it was time for him to start trying. Like a maze, he weaved around each person skillfully until finally, he found himself back at the front door and that's when his feet turned into wet cement encasing him on the floor. All that was between him and Phil was a door. A wooden thing made possible to come unhinged. And all that echoed in Dan's head was Louise's words.

_"_. _..having him in your life is never going to ruin you as much as not having him will"_

Dan pushed open the door, bit his tongue to stop from laughing at the couple still making out on the porch. Were they not cold or tired yet? And like a movie Dan expected to come out and Phil would already be gone, the Uber halfway down the block making Dan abruptly become an athlete and run after it. But this wasn't a movie. Or a book or a music video. This was just Dan staring at Phil who was sitting on the curb looking downtrodden and deciding that the five minutes it would take the Uber to come was all the time Dan needed. 

"Phil" 

Phil's eyes remained on the ground, his elbows resting on his parted legs. He didn't say a single thing. Dan didn't have this scene memorized, it wasn't apart of his script. It was up to Dan to write his own lines this time.

"I know you think I'm an asshole"

Phil huffed out a caustic laugh, "Understatement of the year Howell"

Dan felt a pinch in his side at the sharpness of Phil's tone.

"I know and...I can't say anything other then I'm sorry"

Finally, Phil looked up to see Dan who probably looked like an absolute mess. His red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks enduring from his crying session.

"Sorry? What exactly are you sorry for? Ignoring me for weeks over literally nothing or humiliating me in front of everyone?" 

"Both" Dan hurried to answer, "Really...truly...I don't know what came over me"

Phil thought about this response for a moment scanning over Dan's dishevelled form. He sighed dejectedly.

"Why? I just want to know why?"

Because I'm head over heels for your stupid ass didn't seem like the proper response for this situation. Even if it was the truth. Dan took a few steps and sat beside Phil kicking a rock on the ground.

"Because I was jealous" Dan simply said, hoping that was enough to suffice.

Phil's eyebrow quirked, "Jealous?"

Dan nibbled his lip, wishing he had thought a little more about his fake reason for being so rude.

"You mentioned your girlfriend and I guess it just made me—"

"Wait you were jealous of _me?_ For being in a relationship?"

Dan sighed out in relief, "Yes exactly"

Thank you, God, for this clueless boy who just gave him an excuse. Phil scoffed rubbing his temples.

"Ok so you were ignoring me because you didn't want to be reminded of my relationship but why did you run away from me in the basement?" Phil questioned.

Dan fiddled his thumbs, "Well because...uh...you know..."

Phil moved his face closer to him, "No I don't"

"Didn't want to make things worse" 

Phil was quiet for so long after that it made Dan's heart start to race. Surely he was picking apart Dan's excuse and he was going to figure it that it was all bullshit and really made no sense. He'll probably kick Dan off this curb, hop into an Uber and Dan he'll never see those goofy glasses ever again.

"You want to be my friend again Howell?"

Dan's face twitched, not expecting the simple and genuine question. He stared into Phil's eyes searching for hidden meaning and in finding none decided it was time for an answer.

"Yes, a good one this time too" Dan let a small smile slip onto his face.

Phil's face brightened yet there was a devious glimmer in his eye that worried Dan because it was so similar to when they had play fought in the lake. There was no water to throw here so perhaps Phil would settle for a rock.

"Alright I can grant that but with one condition," Phil said, "You have to...kiss me"

A hand wrapped around Dan's lungs and squeezed all the air out of him. What the fuck. What the actual fuck.

"W-What?" Dan sputtered, his eyes growing wide.

Phil's smile turned sinister, "You heard me. Kiss me."

"Why is that—"

"A _good_ friend Howell would never have humiliated me in front of everyone by not kissing me in that stupid game"

"Right...ok...but I don't think that's a good idea"

"You're right it's a _great_ idea and one you'll agree to if you want to be my friend again"

Who did this boy think he was? Being witty and charming and asking for a hopelessly gay boy to kiss his crush? There was no way he could run away this time. Phil seemed the type to remain stubborn.

"You're not getting out of this Dan" Phil assured.

"Oh yeah, you so sure about that?" Dan teased turning his entire body to face Phil. 

Phil grinned, his teeth gleaming in the moonlight.

"Anything else Phil" Dan argued.

"No"

"Really there's nothing else? I'm giving you a complete range of possibilities here" Dan disputed.

"No Dan" Phil stated.

"But—"

"Dan I said no" He reiterated obnoxiously.

"I just—"

"You are the one who fucked me over Dan I think maybe you should just allow it to—"

"But if you'll just fucking _LISTEN_ —"

"I think _you_ should just shut up for one second and kiss—"

Finally, Dan lost his patience and his temper. That's what he would say in a court of law at least. Phil kept interrupting him and wouldn't fucking listen to him which is one of his biggest pet peeves and so Dan lost control. And did the stupidest thing imaginable.

Phil's lips were smooth against his and Dan couldn't recall when he slipped his hand to the back of Phil's head. His stomach fluttered nervously as he felt Phil release a small gasp against his lips. Dan had never really noticed someone's scent before but damn did Phil smell _good_. Like oak and vanilla surrounding Dan in a haze of pleasure. A thousand thoughts were running through his head but somehow the only thing he could focus on was the feeling of Phil's lips pressing a little harder as if trying to deepen the kiss. And that couldn't happen, not even if Dan wanted to lace his fingers into his silky hair and lick along Phil's bottom lip. So Dan pulled away letting out a shaky breath as he did so while Phil just grinned at him mischievously.

"Told you," Phil said lowly his voice a raspy growl.

Dan was breathless and couldn't think of a single rational thing to say. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from licking over his lips just for one more taste of Phil. 

"Uber's here," Phil said standing up from the cold cement and ruffling Dan's hair affectionately just like Louise always did.

And then he was climbing into the back of the vehicle his hair disappearing first into the darkness of the car's interior.

"Wait!" Dan called out after jumping up, a second before the door shut.

Phil's eyebrows raised and Dan felt his eyes drawn to the redness of Phil's lips that was caused by them kissing. Fuck did that really just happen? Even the thought made Dan's heart flutter in a way that assured him he was fucked.

"Friends again?"

Phil chuckled darkly shaking his head a little in disbelief, "See you later Howell"

The door slammed shut and the Uber pulled off before Dan could figure out how to internalize what had just happened. He smoothed his sweaty palms against his jeans for the second time that night and giggled into the crisp air. In the morning he'd regret this but for now, one word repeated through his mind and Dan had a feeling that it would be stuck there for a while.

_More_


End file.
